Kiss the Rain
by NeonMonkeys
Summary: Bella arrives in Forks after the Cullens have left. Seven years later they're back.  She meets one of the Cullen brothers while trying to heal after Jacob leaves her broken-hearted and depres.  Can he help her recover?  And why does he hate Jacob so much?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – I don't do long author's notes (I don't think, well not yet anyway) but I must say thanks to Mystic for putting up with me and sorting out my repetition, and to Never for her pre-reading.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. Jasper **_**so**_** owns me. I own nobody.**

**Chapter 1**

I stood on the roof terrace, looking out over the lights of the city below me. Looking but not really seeing.

Actually, I say roof terrace, but really it was more of a roof garden, stretching the remaining length of the building with tropical plants, sofas, a small fountain - I kid you not– and oriental screens making up smaller secluded areas.

Stupidly, I had worn a strapless dress and it was getting cool out, a few drops of rain falling. I used to hate the rain. I had always loved the sunshine; when I moved to Forks, Jake had become my own personal sun – bright, warm, comforting.

Now, I craved the rain. Craved the cold, the darkness, the misery.

Now, it always felt like it was raining somewhere deep inside me.

Although I hadn't heard the glass doors of the apartment doors closing, suddenly the sounds of the party within were muffled, and I sensed a presence.

"Good evening."

Even before he spoke, and although I had never heard his voice before, I knew who it was.

From my vantage point near the kitchen doorway I had seen him arrive, with a small dark-haired woman, although they didn't seem to be a couple. Everyone in the room turned to stare as they entered, somehow draining the previously bright atmosphere in the room. His stunningly beautiful companion flitted away from him the moment they got there, circulating and making small talk with ease, driving away some of the disquiet arising from their very presence.

He seemed disinterested, bored and uncomfortable. His presence seemed to instil fear and jealousy into the men in the room, who all instinctively put an arm round their partners' shoulder, and held their hands a little tighter whenever he neared. The women, although somewhat apprehensive at first, visibly fawned over him. Every one of them wanted to talk to him, to be near him. When someone did manage to engage him in conversation (although conversation was not the correct word, as he would just occasionally nod or give mono-syllabic answers) the girls nearby would hang on his every word, like schoolgirls meeting the object of their fantasy crush. In fact, I'm sure I saw Lauren actually drool just a little bit.

Something about them seemed a little 'off', like they didn't really belong there. I had been watching him all evening. And he had been watching me. But whenever we made eye contact, I pulled away, shocked. It was as if he were looking right into the pit of my soul and was trying to pull out all the sadness hidden away in there. I wanted to run and hide from him and his searching eyes, but I couldn't - I was completely transfixed.

I had told Jess I didn't want to come tonight, that I would be poor company, but she had insisted I needed to get out even though it had only been a few months since Jake had ... No, I had promised her I wouldn't dwell on that tonight. Other than Jess and Angela (and therefore by default Mike and Ben) I wasn't even particularly close to many of my old school friends. I had lost touch with many of them when I went to live on the reservation. The only reason I had agreed to come to this stupid school reunion was because Jake had gone to a different school and there was no chance of running into him. Jess had even insisted I stay with her last night, on the pretence of getting me to help get things ready, but I knew it was just to make sure I did actually make it to the party.

I had planned to help Jess hostess so I could hide in the kitchen, and then make a quiet early exit. Jess can be annoyingly perceptive though, and she had caught me watching the stranger. I had tried to be nonchalant in my questioning as to why I didn't remember him. I had only spent one year – my final year - at Forks High. "Right, the Cullens left the summer you started so you wouldn't have known them. I'm surprised any of them came actually – they were always quite aloof and kept themselves to themselves. There are four or five of them I think. Alice – the pixie over there with the short dark hair – was probably the most sociable and would have been in our year. She and I got on fairly well. Though she was a bit weird sometimes," Jess whispered the last sentence as if afraid Alice would hear her from across the room. "He would have been in the year above us but like I say, they left at the end of his final year. Come on, I'll introduce you."

But I couldn't take it any longer. The laughter and the smiles and the happiness that surrounded me in that party. I couldn't bear the happy, smiley people, and I couldn't bear the compelling man searching my soul. So I had sought refuge out here.

But now he was only a step behind me. I hadn't responded to him and he hadn't spoken again. He ran an icy cold fingertip down my arm, barely touching me. I shivered. He closed the step between us and my back was pressed against his solid body. Instinctively I dropped my head onto one shoulder, closing my eyes, sighing softly. His fingertip feathered from my exposed ear, down my neck and down my arm, once, and then again. He was tall and his body shielded me from the view of my friends inside, trapping me between himself and the railings around the edge of the building. Nobody could see me. Nobody would hear me through the closed glass doors.

"Someone did a real number on you, didn't they? Heartbreak just emanates from you, and you won't let me in to take it away." I'm not sure whether it was his touch or his voice – low and smooth with a hint of an accent - that caused the goosebumps. He was right – someone had 'done a number' on me. I quickly closed down the part of my brain that I had shut Jake away in – I didn't want my memories of him or the feelings they evoked anywhere near me at this moment. "There y'all go again. Shutting me out." His voice was gentle, soothing. I could feel myself calm almost instantly.

His lips were on my neck, my shoulder, feather-light as his finger had been. Now he was running both hands down both my arms, intertwining his fingers with mine, all the time gently kissing my neck and along my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, entangling our arms and hands, pulling me, gently, further into him.

"Let me take care of you." It was barely a whisper, his lips on my ear.

I moaned softly. He let go of my hands while his travelled over my hips, down my thighs. His fingers trailed up the inside of my legs. Some distant part of my brain registered that I shouldn't be doing this, that anyone could come outside at any minute. I should have been nervous, scared even. Instead I felt completely centered.

"Let me in."

He caught me round the waist with one hand, just as I was sure my knees could no longer support me, while his other hand continued the trail up and down my thighs. Down my hips and thighs over my dress, up the inside of my thighs under my dress, returning just before touching my now hot, pulsing core. With each pass he applied just enough gentle pressure to inch my legs apart. I bucked my hips to meet his fingers, trying to get some contact, and he pulled me back against him, against his erection.

My breathing hitched, my heart was beating out of my chest. I had never felt like this. I didn't even know this man, and here I was ready to give myself to him in the most carnal way. I _wanted_ to give myself to him_. Oh God, this is wrong, I'm still aching with the loss of the only man I had ever loved_. The shame and guilt had barely started to build, when I could feel it being pushed away, replaced by something more primal as his fingers started expertly stroking my slit, giving some friction but not nearly enough.

"That's better. Doesn't that feel better?" I could feel his lips curve into a slight smile against my neck. His supporting arm moved up around my ribs and his fingers stroked gently over the light fabric of my dress, across my breast, across my hard nipple.

I whimpered again in response. I was getting hotter and damper with each caress of my thighs and when he ripped off my panties, I barely noticed, let alone cared. His thumb started circling my clit, gently at first, gradually getting harder and faster. A finger slid into me, once, twice then another finger. Sliding, pushing, twisting, curling. Despite my heat, his fingers were still cold, heightening all my sensations.

I ground my hips into him, torn between wanting to thrust forward to give his fingers deeper penetration and driving back into him with my ass, to feel more of his hard erection, settling in a kind of joint rocking motion.

"Come on, baby. Come, now. Just for me."

He ran light kisses down my neck, driving and manipulating his fingers with more force. Withdrawing them, he squeezed gently on my clit, pushing me nearer the edge. His fingers were inside me again before I could catch my breath. I could feel the wave rising in me, my muscles clenching around him, when he bit down sharply on my shoulder.

"Aaaah." It was part-scream, part-relief as my orgasm finally took me, sending me slumping against him as he held me close, my head leaning against his shoulder, my face upturned to the rain.

He lovingly kissed the spot where he had bitten me, before scooping me up in his arms in an over-the-threshold lift, crossing the roof and depositing me tenderly on one of the sofas. Realising we were screened from the people in the apartment and knowing that they wouldn't hear me if I screamed, I suddenly felt vulnerable and afraid. My seducer was partially lit in the dim glow of a nearby light and only now could I truly look at him. His pale skin was eerily luminous in the faint light. In the shadows, he was coldness and darkness personified. Shocked, I tried to scramble back away from him but only succeeded in digging myself deeper into the seemingly millions of cushions that made up the sofa. Damn Jess and her cushion-fetish!

His eyes snapped up to meet mine and I was stunned by how light they were: they glowed a dark, golden colour unlike any I'd seen before. He smiled softly and knelt down on one knee next to me. As he held my eyes I could feel the fear subside, and he seemed less threatening.

"Good evening." With a flourish and a dramatic bow he introduced himself, somewhat belatedly it must be said, and grinned at me. He took my hand, bringing it to his lips.

I couldn't stop myself from grinning back. He was so beautiful when he smiled, those eyes lighting up from within.

"Bella Swan. Do you normally seduce women before you introduce yourself?"

He laughed a little. "No. But I won't apologise for it. I've wanted to do that all night and you needed it." His eyes darkened minutely. "In fact, that is not _all_ I wanted to do but it will suffice. For now. Why are you so sad?"

"Are you always so forward?"

"Do you always answer a question with a question? You have to answer mine first." The dazzling smile lit up his face again.

"I don't want to talk about Ja ...it."

His eyes narrowed, and the darkness was back in him for just a moment before he seemed to shake it off. "You shouldn't feel ashamed. You've done nothing wrong."

"Yeah, right. Because allowing a complete stranger to grope me while my closest friends are just yards away isn't shameful at all."

"Isabella, you know as well as I do that that was not just a 'grope'. And frankly I'm offended you see it like that," he feigned indignation.

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that. It was ... " I tried to come up with an adjective to describe how he had made me feel in those few moments. " ... all-consuming. Probably the most intense sexual experience I've had in a long time." Actually ever, I added silently. I flushed bright red and looked down, biting my bottom lip. I couldn't believe I was talking to a stranger about my sex life! Somehow, he was bringing out things in me that I would never usually dream of doing.

"There you go again, with the shame. These negative emotions are draining you, despite my best efforts to keep them at bay. You keep repelling me. I've never experienced anything like it. " He seemed to be speaking more to himself to me.

I couldn't figure him out at all. I'd never met anyone so direct. So empathetic . So attractive. I should have run screaming from him as soon as he had started to touch me yet I was still here – panty-less and a little afraid – but here. With him.

Maybe it was because he was the antithesis of everything I had previously known – the shade to Jake's light, the coldness to Jake's warmth, the rain to Jake's sun.

He came back from his reverie and looked skyward. "You're getting wet. You should get back inside."

"No. I want to stay here." I could hear the whine in my voice and inwardly rolled my eyes at myself.

"Come on, I don't want you getting sick on my account. Go on, back to the party."

He stood up and offered his hand. The rain was getting pretty heavy, and I was getting cold. But I could think of better ways to warm up. Just the thought made me blush to my roots. I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead, silently scolding myself. Reluctantly, I took the hand that was offered to me and he pulled me up hard, catching me easily and holding me against him.

He brushed my hair back off my face and put his palm on my cheek. Once again the coolness of his skin momentarily shocked me, but I was somewhat distracted by his lips pressing on mine. I had been kissed before, many times, but this was the first kiss of my teenage daydreams. He kissed me sweetly, gently sucking on my bottom lip, his tongue softly teasing against mine. I wouldn't have been surprised if fireworks had gone off around us. He pulled back suddenly, leaving me wondering why he was stopping. But he just smiled at me again and led me indoors.

"I really have to go. Alice is waiting for me." His eyes were nearly black. Hadn't they been much lighter earlier?

"Wait! Will I see you again?"

"I will see you again."

"How do I find you? Oh, I'll give you my number. Do you have a pen? Or your phone?" I was panicking. He was walking towards the door.

"I'll find you," was all he said before disappearing out of the door, and for all I knew out of my life.

Once he was gone, I felt strangely disconnected from the people around me. I wandered through to Jess' bedroom, into a drawer in her closet and grabbed a pair of her knickers. I knew she wouldn't mind if I asked her but I had no idea how to explain what had just happened. That had just happened, right? It all seemed so surreal.

After straightening myself out as best I could I went to find her and make my goodbyes.

"You're not going already, are you? Why don't you go speak to Tyler?"

"Jess, tell me you are not trying to set me up! I'm tired and not great company. I've already stayed later than I intended to."

Angela came up to us. "You didn't look tired when you came inside just now. In fact, I'd say you looked dazzled."

I blushed furiously and mumbled another goodbye before turning on my heel and practically sprinting for the door with Jess shouting at me "Swan, I'll call you tomorrow. You better spill out the details." Throwing a quick wave back at them, I left.

Outside the rain was falling more heavily now. I stood for a minute, giving myself up to the feeling of the cool drops on my face and the sound of the splashing on the sidewalk. As I opened my eyes, I was looking up at the roof and shivered at the memory of his touch, the rain serving as a tangible reminder.

A feeling of being watched crept up on me. Looking around, the only people I could see were a couple walking arm in arm across the street, huddled under an umbrella, oblivious to anyone else. The rain had driven everyone else indoors, but I couldn't shake the feeling. Get a grip, Bella. But I was relieved to get to the safety and familiarity of my car, and drove probably a little faster than I should have back to Forks.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here we go again. Thanks to the amaxing domysticated for her superlative beta-ing and sorting out my repetition, and to the equally wonderful Never for trying to make sense of Bella's emotions (someone has to - God knows Bella can't right now!) And thanks to domysticated for sorting out my repetition.**

**I was planning to get into a weekly cycle of Friday for putting up new chapters but with the holidays that timescale may slide. Will try to get Ch3 up over the next few weeks.**

**Disclaimer: SM still owns Twilight. Jasper still owns me. I own pretty much nothing.**

**Chapter 2**

Sunday morning dawned cloudy and drizzly. Pretty much like about 300 other days of the year in Forks then. I hadn't slept well, tossing and turning until about 3.00am when I finally drifted off into a surprisingly deep sleep only to be woken by Charlie arriving home a few hours later. In the light of the morning, last night's events seemed even more unreal.

The guilt and shame which had threatened to take over last night engulfed me. I was square, conventional Bella. I wasn't a one-night stand kind of girl. I'd only ever had one serious boyfriend and that hadn't worked out so well for me.

It hadn't even been a one-night stand. I wasn't really sure what it was. What was I thinking? What if my friends had found us? Would I ever see the mysterious man again? I wondered what he must think of me. I tried to rationalise it during my shower. I wasn't thinking. Nobody found us. Even if they had, and Jake had found out, I am a free agent, I owe him nothing. Would I ever see _him_ again? That was a question I couldn't answer. Did I want to see him again? That was a question I wouldn't answer, not even to myself.

Charlie was home so I made us both breakfast before heading off to work. I am well aware that many 23 year olds would rather have lived in a cardboard box than moved back to their parents', but I didn't really mind. I had nowhere else to go after leaving Jake. Charlie had always given me my space and we were often like ships passing. I was glad his fishing trips were becoming more regular again. The breakup had put a real strain on Charlie and Billy's friendship, something I felt incredibly guilty about. Charlie had always loved Jake like his own son, indeed had encouraged us together in the first place, but to his credit when it happened he turned his back completely on Jake. He was not a violent man, but I was seriously worried at one point that he was going to inflict physical harm on my ex-boyfriend. So between fishing, his work and my work, I didn't really see him much.

Work. I worked some shifts in the diner. Another backward step since leaving Jake. I had moved in with him and Billy practically straight after college. I'd had a dream that one day I would end up teaching, but somehow had drifted into a world where I helped look after Billy and spent time with Emily, looking after 'the boys' as she called them. It had been a carefree, comfortable life. But when it came crashing down around me, I realised I had nothing. No skills or experience to take out into the real world. And while I know Charlie would have looked after me, I needed to be doing _something_, earning something,no matter how little. So I had ended up waiting tables. Leah constantly harassed me to do something else, to grab the opportunities she didn't have. I didn't yet have the strength of mind to do anything, though. I was still trying to put myself back together.

My friendship with Leah was an unexpected blessing from the breakup. She and I had never got on particularly well when I was with Jake. She's a bitch. There's no other way to describe her. She is bitter, negative, draining to be around. But in the aftermath of my life falling apart, she was the only one from the reservation who had taken the time to come and visit me of her own accord (Jake, infuriatingly, continued to send the others round to check up on me regularly). She pulled me out of the depths many times and I began to see her in a different light. She genuinely knew what I had gone through and it was only now I could appreciate how difficult it must be for her to stay around Sam and Emily. To be honest, I don't know why she did it. I knew she felt it her duty to stay around for her mum's sake after Harry had died, but she was bright, young – even beautiful when she wasn't scowling – she could achieve so much more

So I worked at the diner. Smiled at the customers. Chatted with the kitchen staff. Picked up my paycheck and went home.

Sundays were always slow, and with nothing to distract me, I felt constantly on edge. Every time the bell went off, signalling another customer, I turned to the door expecting to see ... well I'm not really sure what I expected to see. Maybe it was just the tiredness. My mobile rang a couple of times but I still hadn't made sense of what happened last night and was still mortified, despite my attempts to convince myself otherwise. I certainly wasn't ready to divulge the details to Jess, so I let it go to voicemail.

Today was particularly quiet, so Cora let me go early. I walked home slowly. It had been dismally dark all day thanks to the threatening clouds, but I really didn't mind. There weren't many people around. A few cars drove by, some I recognised, some I didn't. Blue sedan, Tyler's van (he honked and waved cheerily at me), silver Volvo, red truck. The feeling of being watched crept up on me again. Although I was justifiably creeped out, I acknowledged some anticipation rippling through the fear, so I walked slowly taking a particularly long circuitous route home. The initial unease gave way a little and I began to feel somewhat comforted by the thought of someone watching over me, protecting me. I remembered his words "_I will see you again_." Eventually, hope fading, I made my way home. The house was in darkness, so I knew Charlie wasn't home. Only once I was inside did I begin to feel foolish – if I thought someone was watching me, I should have come straight home. But I knew why I hadn't, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself.

The empty house seemed somehow lonely. Usually I didn't mind being on my own, but tonight it felt like something, or someone, was missing. Putting the remains of yesterday's home-made soup on to heat up, I turned to lay the table. For one. Jake and I had spent hours at this table before I moved out, doing homework, reading, laughing, eating. Jake ate a lot. And the house was always full of noise when he was here. It was too quiet tonight. I grabbed my ipod, turned it up loud and stuck the earbuds in. The music drowned out all my thoughts as I lost myself in it, dancing around the kitchen like you do when you know no-one is watching.

Standing at the sink, washing up this morning's breakfast dishes, I suddenly saw a shadow cross the back yard. Instantly my heart rate sped up, and I peered forward to try to get a closer look. I tried to quell the growing anticipation that it was _him. _Surely he wouldn't creep around in the dark when he could just ring the doorbell? I couldn't see anything. Maybe I had imagined it. I needed to pull myself together, I'd been nervy all day. Thinking he was coming to see me, imagining he'd been watching me. The man frightened and fascinated me in equal measures.

Turning away, I walked – smack – straight into a solid wall of a man.

I roughly pulled the earbuds out and glared at him.

"Jesus Christ, Paul! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Nice moves, Bella." He smirked back at me.

Paul was one of the boys from the reservation. Tall, dark and handsome, and, boy, did he know it. Jake had hated him when they were younger, but by the time we got together they were buddies. I didn't like him at first. He was too cocky and arrogant, and hot-headed. He often acted first, thought later which had got him into trouble on many occasions. But we shared a sense of humour and soon he started to feel like an older brother. He was protective and fiercely loyal which explained why he had sided with Jake over me. He claimed he hadn't, that he didn't have a choice but it still hurt me. The pack mentality of the tribe boys had always frustrated me. Although long traditions and histories made their bond somewhat understandable, sometimes it was like they couldn't think for themselves.

"How the hell did you get in here? And why?"

Paul was hovering over the stove, eating the soup straight out the pan, ignoring my glower, "You got enough of this to go round?"

I reached up to get another bowl and, smacking his hand away, spooned out a large portion for him. Holding onto the bowl, glaring at him I asked again, "What are you doing here? How did you get into my house?"

"Calm down, Bella. Jake's been frantic because no-one's seen you all weekend. He's been calling you all day and finally sent me to track you down."

I sighed in frustration, handing over the soup. "OK, one, what I do and where I go is nothing to do with Jake. Two, I don't need this constant protection detail, what does he think is going to happen to me in Forks?" I ignored Paul's raised eyebrows. "And three, how did you get in my house?"

"I tried hammering at the door but you were too busy 'dancing'." I couldn't help myself smiling as he laughed, impersonating my kitchen-dance. "Anyway, Jake still has a key so I let myself in. He told me to go to the diner to see if you were there, but, erm, isn't Cora working today?" He had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

"You didn't? Cora? Really? Why don't you just get yourself a steady girlfriend, instead of fucking your way round the town? God knows there's plenty who would have you."

"Not for me. I'd end up doing to them what Jake did to you and I couldn't live with myself if I did that."

"What makes you think you'd end up doing the same? You're not Jake. Don't let what happened to us ruin your chances at a relationship."

"It's not that simple, Bella. Mmm, I miss your cooking. This is fucking delicious. Any more?" He got up and refilled his bowl from the pan. It's not just Jake that eats a lot – all the tribe boys do. It didn't take much to recognise the oh-so-not-subtle change of subject, signalling he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I could take a hint.

"Well, once you've finished you better run back to Jake and tell him I'm fine." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice. I could feel him watching me, so I busied myself tidying up again. But a moment later, he was by my side, hooking one arm round my neck, hugging my face into his shoulder.

"Bella, I'm sor.." the pity in his voice was unbearable.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry. Don't feel sorry for me." The tell-tale stinging in my eyes was reflected in my voice. Taking a deep breath, I pulled back looking him in the eye. "Honestly, I'm getting through this. Just ... just go back to Jake. Tell him I'm fine."

He looked at me rather sceptically but didn't say anything. Kissing the top of my head he went to rinse out his now empty bowl. Emily certainly had them trained well.

Pounding on the front door broke any strain in the room.

"Bella! Bells! Are you in there?"

"Shit! I should have called him. Sorry, Bella. Do you want me to stay?"

The hammering on the door continued. "Bells!"

I gave him a wry smile "Do you think he could hurt me any more than he already has? No Paul, it's fine. Go on, get gone." He disappeared out the back door, as Jake marched in the front.

"Where the hell have you been?" I couldn't help but notice that despite the anger in his voice, the worry in his face was obvious.

"Calm down, Jake. I'm fine, obviously. Paul was just here – he's on his way back with his status report."

"It's not funny, Bella. You just disappear for two days, nobody hears from you. What were you thinking?"

"Erm, that I didn't need your permission to go anywhere or do anything. And since when do you just march into people's homes without an invitation? I could have been doing private stuff, for all you know." I could see he was clearly worried, but fuck him. He had no right to check up on me like a child. Or like he still had a claim.

He exhaled a long breath, dropping his head and shoulders, "Bella, I'm just worried about you. I need to know that you're safe. There are ... dangers out there."

"Jake, you lost the right to worry about me when you broke my heart! No, in fact, you didn't just break my heart – you ripped it out of my chest and left a gaping hole in its place. And now you can't even leave me alone to try to heal."

"I know I hurt you Bella. But I never wanted to, you know that, right? If I could change things I would." In two steps he had closed the distance between us, his familiar strong, warm arms holding me tenderly, his voice breaking. I leant my forehead against his chest, fisting the bottom of his black t-shirt, unable to hold back the tears now.

"No you wouldn't, Jake. We both know that. I think you should go." But instead of leaving, he held me tighter. Why couldn't I stay angry at him? Why couldn't I hate him? It would make this so much easier. I tried to push him away but it was like trying to move a fucking mountain. "Go home. You're just hurting both of us more."

He let me go and stepped back. His dark eyes were filled with regret, and he was clearly searching for some words to make it better, finding nothing. "I'll come back in a day or two. We'll talk."

Lifting both hands to my temples, I scrubbed at my face. "No. Don't you get it? You need to let me go."

"I can't. Not until I know that you're going to be ok and that there's nothing out there that can hurt you."

"The only thing that's hurting me is you!"

"There are more dangerous things than me out there."

"Like what? Come on, tell me. You don't want me, but you don't want me to meet someone else, either, is that it? "

"Bells, it's not like that. Nothing would please me more than to see you happy. Just... just be careful for the next few weeks. Why don't you come down to Emily's for a few days? She'd love to see you."

"I'm not coming down to the Reservation."

"No, I guess not. Just take care. And call me. Or Paul. Somebody." He was resigned now and hugged me again, heading out the door into the now rainy night.

"Speaking of Paul, you can stop sending him, and Quil and Embry and Jared round. I know you're sending them to check up on me." I called after him.

He didn't answer, just turned to smile and wave but the tender smile wasn't filled with sunshine. It nearly broke my fragile heart all over again. I wanted to see his sunny smile again.

As his VW Rabbit pulled out of the drive, I could feel the coldness spreading out from somewhere deep inside me, again, dismally filling me with greyness. I couldn't stop the tears falling, mirroring the fat raindrops now falling outside.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Didn't get a chance to update last week, RL and all that. So here's a Hogmanay update for you. I flove domysticated for putting up with me, and Never for reading this from her sick bed. Now that's dedication. Would love to hear your thoughts so far - I can take it!**

**Disclaimer: SM still owns everyone here. Even Leah (though I think Leah would have something to say about that).**

**Chapter 3**

The rest of the week passed in a haze of drizzle, and the weather matched my mood. The encounter with Jake left me drained. He hadn't come round again, nor had any of the others; that just meant I spent all my time wondering what they were up to. As much as it exasperated me that they were coming at Jake's request, I had to admit that I did enjoy their company. They had been not just my friends but my family over the last few years and I needed to retain that link for my own sanity. I sometimes wanted to cut all ties, make a clean break, but what then? I felt like I would float off into the clouds with nothing and no-one to ground me.

Yes, I had my friendship with Jessica and Angela. We had stayed in contact since leaving school, and they were the closest things to girl friends I had. They were the ones who had insisted I have a bridal shower, doing the whole bridesmaid thing. They were the ones who carted me off once every few months for a night away from the reservation, usually involving copious amounts of wine, dancing and laughter. They were the ones doing their best to get me back on the social scene, and they did not judge me for abandoning them for Jake. But, if I was honest with myself, they were little more than superficial relationships. Not enough to keep me present and earthed.

I had spoken to Jess during the week, and she wanted me to go up to Port Angeles on Saturday again. I made excuses, but told her I'd think about it after she wore me down with her insistence. I had, hopefully, convinced her that I had done nothing more than talk on the roof garden last Saturday. But I was a lousy liar, and though I could get away with it on the phone, I wasn't so sure she'd buy it if we were talking face to face.

My lingering depression was, I suspected, linked as much to him as it was to Jake. I hadn't seen or heard from him during the week and the longer it went on the more dejected I felt. Bouts of shame and rejection hit me like tidal waves. I was beginning to accept I'd just been a distraction, a plaything for him, a conquest he was probably bragging about to his friends. I should have been angry, but I couldn't be. He'd been so striking. I could remember the feeling of his body against mine. His hard, flat stomach against my back. His strong, powerful arms around me. His muscles pulsing against me with every movement. His dazzling topaz eyes boring into me. His crooked smile melting me. Not that I didn't remember his menace or the danger and fear I felt in his very presence. I did, vividly. But if anything that just seemed to intensify the attraction. My chest constricted and my centre flamed at the mere thought of him. I could understand why he didn't want me: I could never live up to him. I should have known better than to have done what I did.

So between warring with my feelings about him and trying to redefine my feelings for Jake, and resigning myself to the fact I could have neither, I was emotionally exhausted. On top of it all, I was still living with the near-constant feeling of being watched. Sometimes it was creepy, sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it just ... was.

Leah came round on Friday night, with pizza and beer. Charlie had left earlier that day for a fishing trip with Billy and wouldn't be back until Sunday. We sat at either end of the old comfy couch, pizza boxes balanced on our entwined legs. Leah was just as keen on her food as Jake, Paul and the others. She had brought two giant pizzas and had polished off almost one and a half herself. I wondered enviously how she managed to stay so slim. We were watching an old movie. We usually ended up watching classics because I liked chick flicks and she liked action, causing many a heated debate on the merits, or not, of each genre. We were quieter tonight though. I was still in a deep gloom, although Leah didn't ask me about it at first. She was giving me the news from the reservation, well, her edited version of it. She didn't mention Jake, and though I was somewhat grateful for that, something was bugging me.

"Leah, why doesn't Jake know that you and I hang out?"

"He does. To a certain extent." She looked angry. "I try to keep him out of it. You and I both need this without him poking his fucking nose in. It's bloody hard though, trying to keep it from him."

"Why is it so hard?"

She leant her head back and rubbed her face, not looking at me. "You know what the boys are like Bella. Everybody knows everybody's business. No fucking privacy."

"Would the guys give you a hard time about it?" I put on a conspiratorial tone, "Betraying the pack."

"Do I look like I give a shit what the guys say?"

"If it's so bad, why not get out of there? Come and stay here for a while."

She shook her head ruefully. "It's not that easy."

"So you keep saying. Jeez, Leah. Why do you put up with it?"

"Well, there's Mom for a start. And I think Seth is about to go through a tough time. I need to be there for him." There was a sadness in her eyes and her tone. "But the real question is why don't you get out of here, Bella? It's not too late for you. Go back to school somewhere. Get a job somewhere. Charlie will be fine without you. Christ knows he managed without you before."

I had no answer for this, so I kept quiet.

"There's something different about you tonight. You seem ... pensive. Distracted. More depressed than you've been in a few weeks. What's going on? Is it to do with Jake coming here last week? "

"You know about that, huh?"

"Like I said, no fucking privacy."

"I don't know Leah. It's not just Jake ... well it is Jake, obviously, but ..." I needed to talk to somebody about this but if I told her, would it find its way back to Jake? I trusted her implicitly, but the tribal drums beat in weird ways and she was right, there were no secrets between the tight-knit group.

"Oh my fucking God, Bella! You've met someone, haven't you?"

After spraying beer across the couch, me, the coffee table and the leftover pizza, she levelled an accusing glare at me.

"You said I needed to move on."

"Not like that. Not here. You need to learn to be on your own first. A strong, independent woman! Not run into the arms of the first douchebag to show you some affection."

I crossed my arms, and pouted petulantly at her. "How do you know he's a douchebag?"

"Everybody stuck in this goddamn town is a loser. You could do so much better."

"Leah, he's ..."

"Don't! Don't tell me anything about him! Trust me, it's better that I don't know."

"There's nothing to tell anyway." My voice was wavering and my eyes were stinging.

"What did he do? Bastard. This is why you're better off on your own. You've only just met him and he's already hurting you. Forget about him."

I couldn't help but laugh then at Leah's black and white view of the world, and of men in particular. Maybe I _should_ just forget about him. Could I? I needed distractions if I was to try and do that.

"So, how about you come round again tomorrow to help me forget? Charlie's away and I could do with the company. I'll even let you pick the film."

"Sorry, no can do tomorrow."

"Great. My alternative is going up to Port Angeles to see Jess."

"You should go. You'll have fun with Jess."

"What? Leah, you fucking hate Jessica."

"I do not." I stared at her, pointedly, until she started smiling. "Ok, I do. But she's good for you. Normal. And it's out of Forks, although not far enough if you ask me."

She was right – as usual - and I spent Saturday night laughing and giggling with Jessica and Angela. It was fun and… normal. They had, as expected, tried to interrogate me about what had happened during the previous week's reunion and I was quite proud of myself for successfully deflecting their question whilst trying to garner some information about the Cullens.

"So, Bella. Are you going to tell us about the roof terrace last week?"

"Not much to tell really. We talked. He was rather elusive. I haven't heard from him since. Tell me about them – they seemed a bit, erm, strange?" I resolved to tell the truth. Though I left out the bit about him giving me the orgasm of my life. If he could do that just with his fingers, imagine ... No, I would not imagine.

Jess and Angela had relished in relaying the high-school gossip, reverting to the sixteen year olds they had been, clearly in awe of the Cullens. I learned that there were five of them who had been adopted by Dr Carlisle Cullen and his wife. They had been in the school for only a year, kept very much to themselves, with the exception of Alice who was friendly enough with the girls in our year although they had all thought her a bit kooky. They were all stunningly good-looking, by all accounts. All the girls at school had crushed on the boys, but not one of them had been able to secure so much as a date. Emmett and Rosalie, the eldest two, had been an item. That, and the fact that Rosalie had been abrasive and disdainful, had made her a target for hatred amongst the girls, not that she ever seemed to acknowledge it or care about it, according to Angela. Though they could admit now that it was probably jealousy. "If you think Alice was gorgeous, you should see Rosalie."

The conversation moved on to reminisce about other school friends – Lauren, Tyler and the others. Jess and Angela seemed to be able to move on quickly from the Cullens. If only I could forget so easily.

Jess wanted me to stay over, but once Mike arrived home, I decided to leave. I really liked Mike, had done since high school, and that was the problem. They were the perfect couple, such a reminder of everything I didn't have any more.

Leaving the apartment block, I felt that sense of being watched again. I realised that at about exactly this time the previous week, I had stood here with the exact same feeling. The thought made me shiver, and I looked up at the roof. Shaking my head to clear the memories, I walked quickly to my car. I drove slower than I had the week before, not in a real hurry to get home. It was a clear night, but cold. As it was so late, there were very few cars on the road.

I turned on the stereo: I did my best thinking to music. I thought about what Jess and Angela had told me about the Cullens. My mystery man hadn't been a player in high school. If he hadn't played around then, with hormonal, sexually frustrated teenage girls throwing themselves at him, he wasn't likely to be now. So if he wasn't playing with me, why hadn't he been in touch? He'd said I'd see him again and he could have gotten my number from Jess.

All this thinking about him was not helping me to forget him.

Suddenly, the car started losing power. I pounded the throttle, but it made no difference. I pulled over, just as the engine stopped altogether. Damn! I knew my old car was long overdue for replacement but I loved it, and it had always been reliable. Until now. Because now, I no longer had Jake keeping it meticulously serviced and maintained. God, everything about my life was so tied up in him. I tried restarting it. Nothing. I popped the hood and got out to have a look at the engine.

I stood staring at it. Yes, it was an engine. It was black and grimy with tubes and metal and tanks and other such engine-y things. Other than that, I was clueless. I stood staring a few minutes more. No cars were passing. I was on the 101, just past Lake Crescent, about midway between Port Angeles and Forks, with dense forest on either side of the road.

I climbed back into the car, pulling on my jacket to try to keep warm. Reaching into my purse, I found my phone and pulled up Charlie's number. Straight to voicemail. Damn, he was probably out of signal. Who else? I could call the station, pull the old 'Chief Swan's daughter in distress' but I didn't want to take them away from real emergencies (although they'd probably be grateful for a little distraction – the area wasn't exactly known for violent crime sprees). Who else? I didn't want to disturb Jessica and Mike but what choice did I have? Jake? Ugh.

As I contemplated my options, a car appeared in the rear-view mirror. Going way too fast, but screeching to an abrupt halt inches from my rear bumper. Something about the way it was driven, and the way it had stopped so exactly, made me wary. I tried to size up the occupants as I discreetly locked my doors. Were they likely to help me, or did they want something else? All I could see were two shadowy figures in the front seat. Both tall, both male and it looked like they were having some kind of discussion, an argument maybe. They didn't get out the car. My heart pounded. It was dark, I was alone and helpless. Two men in a car probably arguing over whether to kill me outright or torture me first.

Reaching into my purse again, my fingers wrapped around the pepper spray Charlie had given me years ago for just such an emergency. I fumbled with my phone with my other hand. I had to let somebody know where I was. So they could find my body.

Yes, I was being a little dramatic.

I tried starting the engine again, pumping the throttle, though I vaguely remembered this was the wrong thing to do. Maybe I should just go ask them if they had jump leads (and hope they knew how to use them). Chances were they would not be mass murderers out for a drive, just hoping to come across a lone victim. But I couldn't make myself move. My breathing was quickening, my heart thumping out my chest. Damn, I should have just called the station.

Glancing in the mirror again, I could see that the man in the passenger seat of the vehicle behind was glaring at me.

I was in full out panic attack now, struggling to breathe, my hands sweating, my leg muscles turned to Jell-O making it almost impossible to move, never mind run. My mind was swimming with all the ways in which a human could be killed. Suddenly, the driver's head swivelled to look at me. I met his eyes in the rear view mirror and felt instant relief. Those were the eyes that had been haunting my dreams and my nightmares for a week now. I wasn't going to be killed tonight (well, probably not). In the time it took me to fumble with the door lock, he was already there, opening my door, helping me out of the car.

He stiffened as I threw my arms around him but I didn't care.

"Jasper!"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: See end of chapter for something to heat you up on a cold winter night. domysticated/Never: y'all will never know how grateful I am (well, you will now because I just told you).**

**Public Service Announcement: Use a condom. Do as I say, not as Jasper does. You know it. End of public service announcement.**

**Disclaimer: still owned by SM. Jasper is owning Bella a little bit though.**

**Chapter 4**

Jasper gently disentangled my arms from around his neck and stood back, looking at me with a hint of amusement.

"Isabella Swan. What are you doing out here, alone? Don't you know there are dangerous things lurking in these woods?"

I couldn't answer: my body was having difficulty maintaining the distance between us. Although it was mere inches, it felt like a gulf, and every part of me was straining to feel him against me once more. I had felt the cold hardness of his jaw against my forehead as I had embraced him and even that fleeting touch had ignited a dormant passion deep within me. Fortunately, my brain kicked into gear just in time to stop me from throwing myself at him again, and reminded me that he just wasn't interested in me the same way. It was sheer luck that he was passing and hopefully he would at least stay with me until I could get Mike or Jake to come for me.

But, at the same time, there was something worrying about his presence here, and I couldn't help being reminded of Jake with his 'dangerous things' comment.

"Isabella?" He lightly lifted my chin up to meet his eyes. "Are you ok, darlin'?"

A simple touch yet it caused a reaction that flowed through my body. A frozen lightning bolt sparking from the point on my chin where he touched me straight to the heat between my legs. He was looking at me worriedly and I realised I needed to answer him.

"Um, yeah. It's just my car …" I motioned to the open hood. "I was just going to call someone." I trailed off, not really sure whether to ask him to hang around.

He looked briefly at his companion, who was still in the car, but didn't say anything. After a moment or two he turned to me again. "Come on. I'll drive you home. Edward won't mind."

"It's fine. Honestly, I'll just call …"

"Isabella. Get in the car." His eyes darkened minutely and his jaw was set, teeth tightly clenched, lips clamped together. It was clear he wasn't going to listen to any of my arguments, and I didn't really want to argue anyway. I would go anywhere with him, I knew that much.

"Fine. What about my car? I should call someone to come pick it up."

"Don't worry about it. Emmett and Rose will be along soon for it."

These names sounded familiar, and I remembered Jess mentioning them before: they must be his siblings, the rest of the Cullen family.

By the time I got to the car, Edward was already folded in the rear seat, huddled into the corner, scowling alternately at Jasper then me. From a quick glance at Edward, it was obvious Jess and Angela hadn't been exaggerating about the attractiveness of the Cullen clan. Although where Jasper had a rugged handsomeness about him, Edward was more classically beautiful. They shared that pale, luminescent skin tone, but I could see Edward's darker hair glinting bronze in the soft moonlight.

Jasper held the passenger door open for me. He was the first man in a long time to do that. I practically fell into the low sports car, eliciting a chuckle from him. He slid gracefully into his seat.

I wasn't comfortable at having put the whole family out of their way and Edward was making me even more uneasy. But I should at least thank him for helping. With great effort, I turned round in my seat and held out my hand. "Hi, Edward. I'm …"

"Bella. Yeah." And with that he turned to stare out the window.

"Erm… thanks for helping me out."

I got a barely perceptible nod in response.

"Don't mind Edward. He's always a bit emo." Jasper grinned at me and as I looked back at him I was hit again by how striking he was. I knew he was handsome but had convinced myself that my memory of him as some kind of god-like perfection was a mind-trick, imprinting my fantasy on the reality. I was wrong. He was everything I remembered, and more.

His dark blond hair fell in waves, stopping just below his ear, emphasising his strong jawline. Flawless pale skin. His mouth with its inviting lips and slight upturn at one side, dimples as he smiled. Cheekbones to die for. And eyes that could melt you or petrify you with one glance. I didn't think I would ever tire of looking into those eyes. They were light again now, a golden caramel. My gaze travelled down his shoulders, along the arm holding the steering wheel. He was wearing a dark plaid shirt, turned up to the elbow. His forearms were littered with small, faint scars. I couldn't see them well in the poor light, but I guessed they were something like burn marks. The muscles in his forearm twitched as he gripped the wheel, his long fingers tapping out a rhythm. As I was watching his fingers, I glanced at the instruments near them.

"Holy shit Jasper, slow down!" I hadn't even realised how fast we were going until I saw the speedometer and now I bothered to look, I realized the forest was just a streak as we drove past.

"Why?"

"Why? Erm, because we could get killed. Because my father is a cop. Because you're not wearing a seatbelt. Because you're not even watching the road." My voice rose an octave with each argument.

He chuckled, never taking his eyes off me. "You're right. You should put your seatbelt on. But we're not going to crash." He became solemn and serious, looking straight into my eyes. "I promise."

And I believed him. We weren't going to crash, no matter how fast he drove. He did, however, slow down somewhat, but I knew it was just to make me feel better.

Edward sighed in the back.

I looked at the car instrument panel again, and noticed the clean, sleek lines. The car smelled of new leather. It was fast and smooth, and I didn't even notice any bumps in the road. This wasn't one of the beat-up run-arounds I was used to seeing down on the reservation. "Nice car."

"Thanks." He patted the dashboard. "Ford Mustang. All-American classic." He turned his attention back to me, "You have no idea, do you?"

I shrugged, and half-smiled. "Not really. I mean, have you seen what I drive?"

"True."

We spent the rest of the ride in silence although my body was twitchy from the sheer proximity to him. I actually had to place my hands under my legs to avoid reaching out to touch him. I tried to keep looking out the window, but it was like he was giving out some kind of magnetic field that kept my eyes sliding back to him, pulling every part of me to him.

Too soon, we arrived at my house.

"Do you want to come in?" I blurted out before I even realized what I was doing.

Blushing, I quickly tacked on "For a coffee."

Then remembering Edward, who had been so silent I'd almost forgotten he was there, I turned to him. "Edward, you too of course. Something to eat? It's the least I can do to thank you for helping me."

Edward just snorted and went back to looking out the window. Jasper too looked straight out the window. "I don't think that's a good idea, Isabella. You're safely home and I should go check in with Emmett. Make sure he's got your car and find out if they know what's wrong with it."

I just sat there, biting my bottom lip, looking down at my fidgeting hands in my lap. "You don't have to worry about my car. I'll get someone to go out for it tomorrow. You can all just go home."

Jasper got out the car, and walked round to open my door, helping me out. "Come on, I'll walk you to the door if you promise to stop looking and feeling so wretched."

He put his hand on the small of my back and steered me up to the porch, but stopped suddenly as we approached the door, dropping his hand. He stood absolutely still for a few seconds. I'd never seen anyone stand so still and could only watch, fascinated, as his eyes turned darker, before he shook himself out of whatever it was that had come over him. He looked briefly to the car and turned back to me with a smile, although I could sense some remaining tension and wariness.

"Maybe I will come in for a while, if the offer is still there."

I didn't know what made him change his mind, but I wasn't about to argue.

"Absolutely. What about Edward? Is he coming in too?"

But even as I was speaking, I could hear the car engine start up again. I turned around and saw that Edward was now in the driver's seat.

"No. Edward knows I'm staying and he's heading off."

"What is he, a mind reader or something?" I muttered as I unlocked the door and stepped into the warmth indicating to Jasper to come in too.

"Isabella, who lives here with you?"

I was moving through the house, throwing my jacket over a chair, switching on the lights, drawing the curtains, looking for what I could offer him to drink and shouted back at him "Just me and Charlie. Can I get you something?"

I was looking in a cupboard in the kitchen and jumped when I turned to see him in the doorway. I hadn't heard him following me. Why did people keep sneaking up on me like that?

"Charlie – Chief Swan, right? No-one else?"

I shook my head, but he still looked guarded.

"Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure. Upstairs."

He took off up the stairs two at a time, leaving me a little disconcerted. He was clearly uncomfortable being here, so why had he come in?

A very short time after, far too quickly to have used the bathroom, Jasper came sauntering down the stairs, looking more relaxed, and stood in the kitchen doorway again, leaning casually on the door jamb, arms crossed over his chest, watching me.

Although he was looking at me softly, I felt increasingly uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze. I flitted about the room, opening and closing cupboards, filling the kettle, looking in the fridge.

"So, can I get you something? Coffee? Beer?"

"Thank you, no."

Ok, I was out of conversation now. I'd never been comfortable with small talk, but it was hopeless to even try it with a ridiculously sexy man I barely knew who just happened to be standing in my kitchen, emitting some kind of magnetic energy. I thought back to how easily I had given in to him a week ago, and how I knew I would give in to him again if he wanted me to. But I wasn't the kind of girl who jumped into bed with a man I barely knew. At least until now… Hell it had taken me months to sleep with Jake. How could a man I had met only twice make me feel things I had never felt in six years with the man I purported to love?

"Isabella, you're tense. You need to relax. Let's sit down." I followed him to the old comfy couch. I remembered sitting here with Leah last night. What would she think if she could see me now? She'd probably kick my ass – this wasn't part of the "Forget Jasper Hale" programme. But then I hadn't expected to see him again when I had decided to forget him.

Jasper looked perfectly at ease on our tired, somewhat decrepit couch. I hesitated, but he took my hand and pulled me down next to him. My body leaned into him, getting the contact it had been craving since our brief embrace earlier that night. Once my body was somewhat satisfied, my mind quickly followed, the sheer physical closeness easing the tension in my head. I knew it was dangerous that a man could have such an effect on me, physically and emotionally, just by his sheer proximity.

As if mirroring my thoughts, Japer spoke softly. "Isabella, I never wanted you to feel this way around me. I'm no good for you. I should have stayed away."

"No, you really shouldn't." I looked up at him fiercely. I didn't want him to leave again.

"You don't know what you're getting into. My world is not your world." I knew what was coming: I wasn't good enough for him. He moved in different circles to me. Circles high above mine. I closed my eyes, hoping to hide the threatening tears.

"Isabella, look at me," he commanded, and I complied, just as I had before. "Don't ever think you're not good enough."

How the hell did he do that? It was like he knew exactly what I was feeling. He pulled me closer to him and I buried my face in his shoulder. He gently picked me up, as if I weighed nothing, placed me on his lap so that my legs were straddling him, and cupped my face with both his hands. Never breaking eye contact, he kissed me for the briefest moment. His eyes fluttered to my lips, just as mine did to his. His tongue darted along his bottom lip, tasting where my mouth had been, before pulling me to him again. Our lips met again, this time more insistently. He teased my bottom lip, gently with his own lips, then found my tongue with his. I returned his kiss with fervour, needing to taste him, needing him to know I needed more. He responded, entangling his fingers in my hair, pulling at it.

My hands were on his shoulders, and I slid them to his chest. I needed to get his shirt off, needed some contact with bare skin, but as I started on the buttons, Jasper suddenly stopped and shifted me back on his lap, away from him. I was breathing heavily, my face flushed, hair undoubtedly a mess. The only thing that gave Jasper away was his eyes – dark and wanting. I was learning to read his moods by his eyes, and what I saw there told me he wanted this as much as I did. So why was he stopping?

"Isabella, we have to do this my way." His voice was low and threatening. A shiver ran through me, but I couldn't tell whether it was fear, desire or both. He took my hands and put them on his shoulders again, raising an eyebrow at me. I understood and nodded. Don't move my hands.

He kissed me again, then began to feather kisses down my neck. I let my head fall back, causing my chest to thrust towards him. His fingers flattened against the hollow of my throat, then travelled down between my breasts as far as my shirt would allow, before his whole hand cupped my breast, gently caressing it. Holding the bottom of my shirt, he raised it up over my head in one fluid movement and in an equally practiced move got rid of my bra. His hands continued to caress my breast, pinching and rolling my nipple between his deft fingers. His mouth followed, leaving a trail of licks and kisses down my neck before taking a nipple in between his teeth. I started tilting my hips, needing some friction, but his hands clamped down on my hips holding me in place, unable to move my bottom half. He rolled my nipple between his lips, sucking gently and then bit softly to start, then harder. It was just painful enough to send a ripple of pleasure through me, and I looked at him to see the corners of his mouth turn up in a playful smile. He muttered something under his breath, but I didn't catch it and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask him to repeat it just as he was moving to my other breast. Seemingly of their own accord, my hands moved to his head, running my fingers through those blond waves, encouraging him, pulling him to me. He drew back for an instant and shot me a warning look.

I immediately stilled, but it was impossible to ignore the rising need between my legs.

"Jasper, please …"

He looked at me, waging some inner conflict that I really didn't care about at that moment, before a growl escaped his lips and he lifted me to stand in front of him. Hooking his fingers in my waistband, he slowly pulled off my jeans, his eyes following his hands, then did the same with my panties. Standing naked before him, watching him watching me hungrily, I should have felt exposed and embarrassed but I just felt desired and aroused. He couldn't hide the want in his expression. Sitting me on him again, he guided my hands down to his jeans, warning me with his eyes. I unbuttoned them as slowly as I could, being very careful not to make any sudden movements. Jasper never took his eyes off my face, watching my mouth as I bit my lower lip. I closed my eyes as I slipped his ready cock free of the clothing. I just wanted to feel him, in my hand, in my mouth, inside me. As I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, he began stroking my clit. I gasped at the coldness of both his fingers and his cock. I had barely moved my hand up his length once when he pulled me away. His eyes were darker now than they had ever been, and it was clear he was trying to gather some control over something. Me? Himself?

In one smooth movement he had himself positioned just at my slick entrance, teasing me. But his voice was deadly serious.

"Are you sure about this, Isabella?"

Was I sure? I was probably going to climax just from the sound of his voice. A nod and moan from me was all it took for him to slide inside me, slowly, filling me, stretching me, possessing me. He gripped my cheeks, holding me easily, controlling the pace, continuing the long, slow thrusts. The cold hardness of him was delicious against my hot wetness. I let my head fall back but he tugged at my hair to pull my face down to meet his eyes. The pace continued agonising slowly. I wanted more but his eyes held a silent warning not to push him. Moving one arm around my waist to hold me, he reached down between us with the other, his fingers moving more roughly giving me what I needed, exactly where I needed it. My arms were round his neck and I gripped his hair. He nodded at me, giving me the permission I needed to let go and I gave myself up completely to the rippling currents shooting through my body, feeling him release with me.

As my mind slowly engaged again, I sought out Jasper's face, only to be confronted by a threatening darkness. His jaw was set, every muscle in his face tense, eyes completely black, seemingly looking right through me and beyond. My instinct was to run, but as I tried to move off him, he held me tightly round the waist, closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.

**A/N: Is the winter cold getting you down? Do you have a perfect lemon-y antedote? My gals at the TSA are hosting a winter hot lemon contest. I know there's a lemon in you just bursting to get out. Write it down and send it on. Or at least read, review and vote for something else. See here for all the details: tsahotlemons (dot) blogspot (dot) com **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As always thanks to the wonderful, patient, supportive, bestest betas in the world - domysticated & Never. I'm a complete failure as a reviewer so have no right to ask anyone else to, but if you feel like it, let me know what you think. **

**Don't forget there's still time to submit your hot lemon (or at least read & review the entries that are there): http:/ tsahotlemons (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Go there now. Without the encouragement of the wonderful peeps hosting/judging/ that contest, I wouldn't be here now!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing's changed. SM still owns. Jasper owns me a bit more every week, thanks to the many wonderful Jasper stories out there. If you have a rec for me, let me know.**

**Chapter 5**

He was still for a few minutes. I could practically feel the aggression rolling off him. I felt suddenly, intensely scared. Could I get away? _Should_ I get away? He still had me in a firm grip so there was no way I could run. Besides, he was probably faster than me. How stupid could I be, to allow myself to get into such a vulnerable position? Inviting a strange man into my empty house in the middle of the night. Somehow this was more threatening than being in my broken-down car by a dark, deserted highway. And I thought then he was my saviour.

Jasper was still absolutely still. He hadn't moved at all for five ... ten minutes. I tried to focus my thoughts on him. If I could figure out what he wanted, maybe I could find a way out of this mess in one piece. As I turned my attention back to him, I became aware that his aggression had been replaced by something else. Regret? Fear? Sorrow? All that, and more. I wasn't quite sure how I knew this but he seemed to be emitting emotions like a fucking lighthouse beacon. There was no movement or facial expression to give any of this away but he was clearly troubled.

Not sure if it would help, or make things worse, I tentatively tightened my arms round him. He seemed to relax minutely, so I began gently stroking his hair, hoping to give him some comfort, but unsure of his reaction. A few minutes later I felt my own fear begin to subside. He opened his eyes, gently pushed my hair back off my face, and kissed me tenderly.

"Sweet Isabella. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not running."

"I wanted to. If you hadn't held me, I probably would have."

"If you had tried again, I would have let you." He closed his eyes again, unwilling or unable to look at me.

"So where does that leave us?" When no answer was forthcoming, I extricated myself from him, retrieved my clothes and ran upstairs. After doing my best to tidy myself up in the bathroom, I pulled on my sweats and a vest and made my way downstairs, fully expecting him to be gone.

Surprisingly he hadn't moved from his spot on the sofa. He was absolutely still and I couldn't read his expression at all. There was no aura of emotion coming from him either. I sat on the chair next to him, not really sure how to react or what to say. After a few moments of silence he came over to kneel in front of me. Putting his forearm across my legs and resting his chin on it, he looked up at me under his lashes. I noticed his eyes were lighter again and figured that was a good sign.

"I'm sorry Isabella. I should never have gone to that damn party. And I should never have got involved with you the way I have."

OK, so not a good sign.

"My name is Bella." I snapped. . It had never bothered me that he called me Isabella, though I had hated that name all my life. I kind of liked the way it sounded on his lips. Or maybe I just liked his lips. But I was angry and disappointed, and needed to get some control over the situation.

He continued as if he hadn't heard me, but speaking to himself again. "When Alice said I needed to go, I had no idea you were the reason. Why does she only ever tell half the story? I could have stopped this before it even started."

"Wait a minute. I was the reason you went to the party? And you say Alice knew? I don't even know Alice, and I'm sure she doesn't even know I exist. This doesn't make any sense, Jasper." I frowned in confusion, trying to make sense of it.

He moved back to the couch, elbows on his knees, learning forward. His face was inscrutable. "Oh Isabella, I know. But trust me when I say this: you and I should never have happened. You don't deserve this. You've had enough unhappiness to last you a lifetime, and while I can fix that temporarily, I'm not your happy ever after."

"Don't I get a say in that?"

"No."

"Fuck you Jasper." I spat at him. He couldn't just waltz in and out of my life, offering sex as a 'temporary fix' before disappearing again. Looked like Leah was right. Her words rang in my ears as I stalked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Isabella ..." he was right behind me again.

"No Jasper. I'm better than that. Go find somebody else to fuck with. Literally."

"This is not about sex, Isabella. Although that does provide added ... complications. You have every right to be angry, and if you have to hate me to forget about me, then I promise not to try to change that."

"Then what is it about? Tell me."

"I wish I could. Trust me when I say there are things about me you don't want to know and couldn't even begin to comprehend. You don't want to be part of this. Fuck, I don't want you to be part of this and I've got you in too deep already. "

There it was again: I wasn't good enough to be part of his world. I couldn't stop the tears now. Angry, bitter, shame-filled tears. The familiar dark clouds began gathering inside me. Jasper closed the distance between us and wrapped me in his arms. Almost instantly the gloom lifted and it was as if the rage and shame was being pulled out of the pores of my body, being replaced by an eerie, unnatural calm.

"I should stick to this. It's safer for both of us." He lifted me in his arms, and took us back to the sofa, positioning me between his legs, my back leaning against his stomach, keeping his arms round me. I was reminded of when we had last been in a similar position, but quickly pushed that thought to the back of my mind.

I craned my neck round, trying to see him. "Will you tell me what it is Jasper? There's something about you. Some kind of, I don't know, mystery." And there was. He was frightening but calming at the same time; handsome but dangerous; captivating but repelling.

He kissed the top of my head, and stroked his finger along my shoulder, pushing the thin vest strap down my arm. "How about you tell me about you first? How does someone so beautiful get to be so insecure and miserable?"

A question for a question. Neither of us willing to be the first to give up something of ourselves. Sensing my hesitation, he added with a smirk. "I could hypnotise you if that would help." He put on a slow, steady voice, "You are feeling relaxed. When I click my fingers you will tell me the truth."

I laughed, but almost immediately I felt more relaxed and secure than I had in a long time. I could feel an odd probing sensation in the very centre of my brain. Maybe he was a hypnotist after all. I tried to look at him, but couldn't see his face clearly from my position in front of him. Opening those memories would doubtless open the wounds left by them again. Could I go through all that hurt again? If I wanted to unlock Jasper's secrets, it looked like I was going to have to let go of some of my own baggage. I hovered on the brink, not quite brave enough to plunge into the murky waters.

Feeling a wave of something like courage, I thought that maybe I actually wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know what made up the parts of me. And maybe he would reciprocate. Taking a deep breath, I clutched his hand - I wasn't sure why, for strength or comfort perhaps – and prepared to tell him.

_I had been visiting Forks every year my whole life: when I moved away with Renee, I'd come back to visit Charlie every summer. Jake's dad and mine are friends from way back– we spent summers climbing trees, splashing in rivers, getting into trouble from Billy and Charlie for scaring away the fish. I've known him my whole life. As teenagers we kept in touch through email from time to time._

_When I moved back here for my senior year, Jake was thrilled. Charlie said he'd had a rough time the year before. He'd been ill for a while and then had got in with a bad crowd – the usual teenage stuff. Billy didn't seem too bothered and there was never any real trouble. By the time I came back, although he was still hanging out with the same crowd they seemed to have matured and were less boisterous. Charlie had bought Billy's old truck for me and Jake fixed it up. We picked up where we had left off, just friends, but he had grown up so much from the boy I remembered. I guess I had too. Charlie made no secret of the fact he already saw Jake as a son and it seemed natural when my best friend became my boyfriend. He encouraged me to take risks – our first kiss was over our dirtbikes in his garage. I loved those bikes! I got to know his crowd and they accepted me like family, for the most part. _

_After school, I spent so much time at Jake's that it soon became easier to just move in. Jake needed help to look after Billy and I became friends with Emily, Sam's wifeSam was the oldest of the little group of friends and the others all had a real respect for him. Jake would often challenge him, but the others not so much. All my time was taken up between Billy, Emily, Jake and his friends. They would sometimes go off for the weekend, hiking, fishing, doing whatever it is boys do. I've never been much of a hiker so I left them to it and would spend time with Emily or occasionally I'd go out with Jess and Angela._

_Jess and Angela never really understood why I cut myself off like that. It just seemed easier, a worry-free, simple life. And Jake loved me like I was the only girl in the world._

_He had been asking me to marry him since I was about 18. For some reason, Sam wasn't happy about it, and at first I thought Jake was doing it just to piss him off. You know, messing about like teenagers do. Everyone else – Charlie, Emily, Billy – though it was a great idea. Jake was my first love, and I his, and I had no doubt I would marry him, but I held off for a few years. We were too young. Jake always thought I had an ulterior motive, but it was that simple. We were in love and happy, but too young. I didn't want to make the same mistake Renee and Charlie had._

_His final proposal was on the beach at La Push, under the stars, with a small bonfire going. We'd had a beach party with the others and had been left to clear up when everyone went home. I was sitting on a large piece of driftwood we often used as a bench and he was lying on the sand at my feet, hands beneath his head, pointing out the constellations to me. When he suddenly broke off, I looked down from the sky to see him gazing at me. "Marry me, Bella. You are the shining star in my universe, these ones pale into insignificance beside you." He had never looked as peaceful and handsome as he did in that minute. It was cheesy, but it was the first spontaneous proposal - the others had all been carefully planned for birthdays or Christmas or Valentine's Day. I practically jumped on top of him, smothering him with kisses._

_As he realised I was saying yes, he rolled us over and we made love there on the beach, under the stars. It was as close to perfect as I could have imagined. With the moon as our officiant and the stars as our witnesses I would have married him there and then. _

_Unfortunately, we had to plan a real wedding, with real guests. I was soon thrown into organising a wedding, trying to balance Jake's family traditions with my mother's grand plans and my own wish to keep things simple. I didn't care for the extravagance and traditions – I would have married Jake in my jeans and sneakers- but Emily helped me find a perfect dress. This constant balancing act stressed me out. Jake started going out with the boys more often, camping out, probably just trying to get away from me so he didn't bear the brunt of my moods. He also argued more with Sam; the pressure was getting to him as well._

_Jess and Angela were a bit put out at not getting to be bridesmaids (I wasn't having any) and missing out on the dress shopping, so they insisted on hosting the bridal shower. I reluctantly agreed, but only if we could do it at Charlie's house. Even though I was living with Jake, Charlie's house always felt like home. There were only six weeks to go to the wedding and everything was set. I just needed to get through the shower._

_There weren't many people there : me, Jess, Angela, Emily and some women I knew from the reservation, , Jake's sisters – Rachel and Rebecca- and Renesmee, a distant cousin of Billy's who was coming down for the wedding. It had been nice to see everyone but I didn't like being the centre of attention. I just wanted to get the wedding over with and settle into my life._

_I was ready for Jake to arrive to do the formal "thank you's" and went running out to meet him as he drove up with Charlie. I pulled him by the hand into the living room where everyone was gathered. Rebecca stood up to greet him and he hugged her warmly, his generous smile lighting up the room. I could see Rachel and Rebecca's guest catch sight of him and her jaw dropped. It was easy to forget the effect he had on women – he was tall, dark, handsome, charming, all the clichés. Of course, he never noticed it. Trying to remind her he was the groom, I pulled him to me. He put his arm round my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek._

_Rachel jumped up. "Jake!. Can't believe my baby brother is getting married! Come and meet Renesmee." She pulled Renesmee up to face Jake and he noticed her for the first time._

_I'm sure time stopped. Everyone in the room – me included – faded into the woodwork. Jake and Renesmee seemed to be encircled by some halo of light, their eyes locked on each other. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke._

_Jake never physically left my side, but I could feel a gravitational pull away from me. It was as if there was some kind of spiritual magnetism compelling him to her__**.**__ I had never believed in love at first sight but witnessing this silent exchange between a man and a woman felt like what I imagined it would be like._

_To Jake's credit he was the one who tried to dissipate the awkwardness in the room by steering me outside. He was full of apologies, he couldn't explain it, not to worry, we would sort it out, but it was just words. Even as he was trying to comfort me, I could feel his eyes sliding to the window, looking for her. This wasn't something we could 'sort out' or ignore. _

_Everyone filed out of the house, mumbling their goodbyes. Rebecca and Rachel bundled Renesmee into their car under the watchful eye of Jake who looked like he was ready to scoop her up and run away with her. _

_He left quickly after, promising to return soon, leaving me with Charlie for whom I had no explanation. _

_Less than twenty four hours later the wedding had been called off, I had moved back in with Charlie, Renesmee had moved in with Jake and every aspect of my life – and the lives of my friends and family around me – had shattered, leaving me numb. A whirlwind had swept through my life, destroying everything. I just stood in the eye of the storm, watching all this happen around me._

_That was about four months ago. I've spent those four months trying to figure out what went wrong, what I did wrong. Trying to keep myself from suffocating under the weight of bleakness in my chest cavity where my heart had been. I would never have expected emptiness to feel so crushingly heavy._

Jasper was still sat on the sofa. At some point I had got up from the sofa and was now standing at the window, looking out into the darkness. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I couldn't bear the silence any more.

"So, that's it. Just your average 'Boy meets girl, boy dumps girl, girl is heartbroken' story." I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see the pity in his eyes and I certainly didn't want him staying because he felt sorry for me. "Bella Swan and Jacob Black. The greatest love story that never was."

Suddenly I was being turned around, Jasper grabbing hold of my wrists, pinning them to my side. His face was inches from mine, black rage filling his eyes. I shrank back but was already against the window with nowhere to go. When he spoke his voice was low and controlled, but menacingly calm.

"Are you telling me Jacob Black was your fiancé? That he's the one who left you broken?" He spat the name out as if it physically hurt him to say it. I nodded mutely, trying to wriggle my hands free.

"Jasper, please let go. You're ... "

Just as suddenly as he had grabbed me, he let go and jumped over the sofa. His face was contorted with fury and he was pacing the floor. This was Jasper at his most frightening, shrouded in darkness, unpredictable, chilling. He was considering his next move, like a master tactician locked in a bloody war with deadly enemies. My back slid down the window, against the wall and I huddled my knees in front of me trying to make myself small enough to escape his attention. But his eyes snapped to mine.

"This changes everything, Isabella."

He strode out the front door, slamming it behind him.

What had just happened? How the hell did Jasper know Jake? I'd been with Jake for years, lived with him for the some of those years. He'd never mentioned Jasper or the Cullens. That Jasper didn't like him was clear, and that was probably the understatement of the year. Did that hatred apply to me too now, by association?

I put my head on my knees and tried to breathe. I felt the same strange detachment I had when he had left the party last week. Maybe this was it. After four months of holding it together, maybe now was the moment I would break away from whatever force held me down. I sat there for what felt like hours, trying to keep myself from drifting away.

After only a few minutes though, the door slammed again. He was by my side, strong arms lifting me, low voice soothing me. He sat me on the sofa and kneeled in front of me. His eyes were level with mine.

"You came back." I smiled at him.

He looked a little confused. "Isabella, I've just spoken with Carlisle. I need to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer me truthfully. How much do you know about the Quileutes?"

What? Oh. He hadn't come back for me then.

"Isabella, I don't want to have to make you tell me. Not now. Quite frankly, I don't think either of us could take it tonight."

Make me? I snapped back to reality. "Wait a minute. You want information on the Quileutes and you think I'm going to give it to you? Jake hurt me, yes, but they are my family and whatever feud you've got going on, is nothing to do with me."

Darkness flashed across his face. He closed his eyes before continuing in a strained voice. "I don't want information. I know everything I need to know about them. What I need to know now is what _you_ know about them."

"Jasper, all this talk in fucking riddles… I have no idea what you mean and I'm tired. I'm going to bed." It was true, and no good would come of arguing with Jasper whilst I was an exhausted, emotional wreck. I had enough difficulty controlling my feelings around him. I leaned back and closed my eyes. Quickly realising that I didn't want him to leave I added, "You can sleep on the sofa if you want." The thought of him in my bed sent trembles all down my spine, but I didn't want to spend all night fighting with him. I just wanted to keep him near me and the sofa seemed the safest option.

I could feel a prickling sensation on my skin. Nothing was touching me but it was almost as if something was trying to penetrate my mind. I tried to push it away, to lock down my brain. I opened my eyes, only to see Jasper looking at me strangely. In an instant his expression softened, and he grinned, all dimples and twinkling eyes.

"Hmm, that leaves me with a dilemma. I can't leave you alone now, and I don't think I trust myself to remain on the sofa all night when I know you're just upstairs."

He was just so damn cute, it wasn't fair and I didn't have the energy to fight him when we both knew how this was going to end up.

"Fine. You can sleep upstairs."

He scooped me up and carried me upstairs, straight into my bedroom. He took off his shoes and leapt onto the bed. Leaning against the headboard, devilish smile still on his face, he held his arms open. Without hesitation, I snuggled up into him and he pulled the cover over us – him still fully dressed, me in my vest and sweats. We lay in silence, while I lazily traced the patterns of his scarred arms and he gently twirled locks of my hair. I fell asleep within minutes.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: here we are again. This chapter is brought to you by the talents of domysticated and Never. Mystic: I can't thank you enough for the support you've given me (well, all of us), and I hope you keep reading. Never: thank you for teaching me to spell Quileute (I had to look that up just then). There's a link for the Snow Patrol song that the lyric in this chapter is taken from (You're All I Have) in my profile.**

**Oh and if you're reading this when it's published, you've still got time to enter the Hot Lemons contest at:**

** tsahotlemons (dot) blogspot (dot) com or the contest page on FFn.**

**Usual disclaimer applies: Stephenie Meyer owns, blah, blah.**

**Chapter 6**

I woke up in almost the exact position I had fallen asleep in, except that one of my legs was draped over his, my hips pressed up against him. He was awake and seemed to be just watching me. He seemed calm and content. Given what I had learned about Jasper by now, this seemed like a good start to the day.

"Mornin' darlin'."

I could get used to waking up to that every morning. I just smiled sleepily. He shook his leg under mine.

"Seems like you couldn't keep away from me, even while you were sleeping."

I blushed, "Sorry."

But as I went to move my leg, he grabbed it and held it where it was, running his hand up my thigh, over my hip and traced his finger along my ribs. At the same time, he brushed his mouth over mine, darting out his tongue to taste my lips. I moaned softly and involuntarily ground my hips into him.

He reluctantly pulled away and got up. "Let's not start something we can't finish. You probably want to shower, and I'll fix you some lunch."

That woke me up. "Lunch? What time is it? Why the hell didn't you wake me before now?"

He just chuckled in response to me flying around the room, looking at the clock, grabbing clothes. "Because you needed the sleep. And you've got plenty of time before we go."

"Go? Go where?"

"So many questions. Go shower."

I stopped at the bathroom door, "You will be downstairs, right? You're not going to leave?" He merely kissed me again before leaving me at the bathroom door.

I showered quickly, still not quite believing that he had stayed all night and would be waiting for me downstairs. I had slept better than I had in months despite the emotional roller-coaster that had been last night. Jasper's mood had lightened so quickly, but I wasn't stupid enough to think that he was going to drop whatever his problem with Jake was. I also hadn't forgotten that he owed me some answers.

Being with Jasper made me feel like I was on one of those human gyroscopes. I didn't know which way was up, how he was going to react to anything. I felt secure, anchored to him, knowing he wouldn't let me fall; but at the same time I knew that I might not get off completely unscathed. Whenever he left me, even for a few minutes and the spinning stopped, it took me some time to get used to being static again.

I didn't want to spoil his apparent good mood, so I resolved to just go with whatever plan he had for the time being, and hope that Mr Hyde didn't show up again too soon. I found him in the kitchen, a brown bag made up with what I assumed to be lunch laid out on the counter. I realised I was starving and hadn't expected lunch to be take-out, so I grabbed a couple of cereal bars to eat on the go, not wanting to delay our departure.

He came over to me, lifting his hand to run the back of a finger down my cheek. Wrapping both arms round my waist he lifted me effortlessly, drawing me eye level with him, and he kissed me briefly before standing me down on the floor again. I stumbled as he let go, causing him to grab hold of me again, laughing at my clumsiness. "Maybe I should keep hold of you. Make sure you don't fall."

_Too late_, a wry voice from my subconscious piped up.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, Charlie will be home soon and we need to talk. I'd actually like to take you to our home, but I can't do that without letting you know what you'd be walking into. So we're going somewhere we can talk, but where you'll be safe."

"Safe from what?"

He held my eyes, "Isabella, I promise I will answer your questions. But not here." He paused for a moment. "Is this what you want? It has to be your decision."

There was a finality to the question, I just knew it. If I didn't go with him now, I would probably never see him again. Without hesitation I answered and we headed out. I was surprised to see his car.

"Yeah, Edward brought it back earlier. Rose is still looking at yours but you should have it back by tonight." Again, he held the door open for me and helped me into the car, closing my door before getting in himself.

"Rose?" I'd assumed Emmett was the one fixing my car. From what I'd heard from Jess, Rose didn't sound much like a mechanic.

Jasper was obviously amused at my surprise. "We Cullens are just full of surprises."

As we headed out of Forks, he asked if I wanted some music on and tossed me his iPod. The sheer amount and variety of stuff on there was immense and I took some time just scrolling through. What sort of man had everything from Vivaldi to Kings of Leon? I eventually settled on one of my favourite British bands. Funnily enough, I wasn't surprised that Jasper had them in his music collection. I didn't think anything about Jasper would shock me, and yet I knew so little about him.

As the music started, he turned up the volume. "Snow Patrol?" He was clearly surprised that I knew of them though. "Too loud?"

I shook my head, grinning. "Not at all. No point playing it if it's not loud!" I had to shout to let him hear me over the pulsing music. I sang along, certain that he wouldn't hear my dire out of tune singing over the sound of the speakers. He looked at me, grinning and shaking his head, clearly enjoying my appreciation for the music. Another song came on but about halfway through I stopped singing, suddenly realising the lyrics about to come.

"_There is a darkness deep in you, a frightening magic I cling to."_

That was it, exactly. I looked at Jasper. Even in the light of day, there was a darkness in him, a frightening magic. That was what I had alluded to last night. And I clung to him.

"Hey, what's up? Why'd you stop singing?" He was looking at me, eyebrows furrowed, clearly aware of my sudden unease.

"You heard that? Oh, God." My cheeks burned furiously, and I covered my face with my hands. "I'm an awful singer."

"Well, not awful. Anyone who can lose themselves in music like that should sing every day. Although maybe not in public." We both laughed, the tension dissipating and I resumed my singing, although at little more that a whisper.

A few minutes later, we pulled off the highway. I had assumed we were going to Port Angeles, but Jasper turned off near Lake Crescent and towards a cabin on the shores of the lake. It was nestled in the trees, right on the bank of the lake.

"I thought you weren't taking me to your house?"

"I'm not taking you _home_, to Carlisle's home anyway, yet. This is where _I_ get away from them all." He was quickly round to my side of the car, opening my door and helping me out again. "It's private enough to let us talk, but there are still tourists around on the lake this time of year."

He took me around the lake side of the cabin. Beyond the grassy area which I guessed made up a yard of sorts, there was a small jetty into the water with a couple of small boats anchored around it. Full height glass doors led into the larger than expected lodge with a large fireplace dominating one wall. A huge television was mounted on the opposite wall. Looking around at the simple, contemporary furnishings, I could almost feel Jasper's presence in this house. I tried not to dwell on the wooden staircase, quelling the feelings that stirred as I thought of Jasper's bedroom up there.

"Maybe we should keep the guided tour to this floor for the moment," he smirked at me before the familiar dark look in eyes appeared and he added, "Although we don't really need a bedroom for that, do we?"

I flushed bright red again- how did he always know exactly what I was thinking?-, and followed him through to what turned out to be the kitchen. It was smaller than I expected and sparse. As he opened the fridge to put in the lunch bag, I noticed it was completely empty. I supposed he didn't spend much time here.

Ushering me back through to the main room, he stood in front of the empty fireplace, arms crossed tightly over his chest, hands planted under his arms and kicked repeatedly at the fireplace with the toe of his shoe. His head was dipped slightly and he looked at me from under his eyelashes. "Do you like it?"

I had never seen him look so unsure of himself. It was endearing. And hot. "I love it."

Relaxing, he grinned, back to his usual self. "OK, great. I'm going to get changed. Put on some music or something if you like. I'll just be a minute." Halfway up the stairs, obviously one step ahead of my dirty mind, he shouted out "Stay there."

I looked round the room. A few framed sketches were the only decorative touches. On closer inspection, they appeared to depict the Civil War and signed with the initials A.W. Although my knowledge of art was limited, they were clearly originals. Near the television, low shelves housed a vast collection of DVDs and video games, alongside a music docking station which no doubt had as much, if not more, variety than the iPod in the car.

A few minutes later, while I was still browsing the music and movies, he re-emerged, hair smoothed down, wearing a simple fitted grey tee which clearly showed the contours of his sculpted body, black jeans and a couple of loose leather bands around his neck. As good as he looked in it, all I could think of was to get him out of it.

Unfortunately, he led me outside again to the edge of the lake. Standing behind me, holding me around the waist with one arm, he pointed out the various watercraft on the lake and the other cabins around it.

"Isabella, if at any time you want to leave, I will take you home. Just ask. No matter what. If you don't want me to take you home, come out here to the end of the jetty and someone will pick you up."

"Someone?"

"Yes, his name is Jenks. He's an associate of mine and knows you are here. He'll be keeping watch for you."

"Why does he need to watch for me? Why do you think I won't want you to take me home? For that matter, what makes you think I'd want to leave?"

He sighed and turned me to face him, taking both my hands in his. "I know I frightened you last night and I don't want you to be afraid of me. But after you've heard what I am going to tell you, you very well might be. And you absolutely should be."

I was already a little apprehensive again. What could he tell me that was so terrible? Keeping hold of my hands, he took me back inside and sat me down on the cream leather sofa, seating himself at the other end, keeping a physical distance between us.

"I told you I would give you some explanations and I promise I will. But you need to do two things for me. First, if it gets too much you must tell me or leave. Jenks is waiting for you." He waited for me to nod my agreement before continuing. "Secondly, I need you to be completely honest with me about the Quileute tribe. Can you do that?"

"Jasper, I don't know what you want me to say. My ex-fiance is a Quileute. I lived on the reservation with him for a few years. I have friends there. But you know all this already. You're not making any sense. Again."

I recognised the signs of him trying to control himself – eyes closed, jaw clenched, absolute stillness. I wasn't deliberately trying to exasperate him. I wanted to know everything he had to tell me, I just had no idea what he expected from me.

"OK. Let me be more specific. What about legends, myths? You must have heard some of those in all the time you were with him."

I instantly relaxed, breathing a huge sigh of relief. I remembered a number of occasions where Billy and the other elders had regaled us with ancient stories – Q'wati, Bayak, Dask'iya. Often round a bonfire, often sobering a party atmosphere. I smiled, remembering how seriously they took them and how Jake would sulk if I teased him about them. Some of the stories were quite disturbing – Dask'iya and the Cold Ones. I was sure they were made up just to scare the children into behaving. I recounted some of them briefly to Jasper who listened patiently.

"So you know the stories. Did you ever think there was any truth in them?"

"Well, I guess they all started somewhere. But over time, they've been twisted and fantasised beyond any truth that might once have been."

"So _Jacob_ never told you that they were anything other than stories? Never told you anything ... odd about himself." He sneered as he said the name.

"No. Why, are you telling me there are child-eating monsters and ancient tricksters running around?"

Jasper stood up, walking quickly round the room, speaking under his breath to himself. I strained to try to hear what he was saying but could only pick up snippets "Jacob Black ... fucking selfish ... ripped him to pieces ..."

Speaking deliberately slowly I tried to get his attention, "Jasper? Jasper, come sit down again. Tell me."

He seemed to remember I was there and his expression softened as he came to sit by me again although he kept the same distance between us. I wanted to move closer to him, to feel his arms around me but he was deliberately keeping us separate so I willed myself to stay put.

"OK. You clearly have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm picking up nothing but honesty and confusion. This would have been easier it your boyfriend had been honest with you, but I shouldn't have expected anything more from a fucking asshole like him I guess."

"Hang on, Jasper. Can we cut out the character assassinations please?"

His eyes snapped to mine "Isabella, why are you defending him? After what he did to you?"

I squirmed under his gaze. He was clearly unhappy about my loyalty to Jake, and I could understand to some extent, but even though Jasper had been the only thing filling my world for the last week, Jake had been in my life for _years_ before that. The feelings I had around Jasper made what I had felt for Jake seem like a single raindrop in the middle of a monsoon. When I was with him I could forget any world outside of the two of us, even Jake, but the feelings I had once had for Jake had been real at the time, he was and would always be part of me. And he had done nothing to deserve this level of vitriol from Jasper.

"What would you do if I told you that you couldn't have both of us in your life?"

"Jake's not in my life."

"He is, whether you like it or not. Maybe not in the way you want."

"No he's not. And I don't want him that way. Any more. I'm here with you aren't I?" I knew I was pouting. "You're not seriously giving me an ultimatum?"

"He won't let you go. Not with me."

I ignored him, knowing Jake had already let me go, "Anyway, that's not a fair question. There's something you're not telling me."

To my relief, he smiled a little. "Fair point. There's not an easy way to tell you this. I kind of hoped you would know, from your time on the reservation. But I guess if you knew, you wouldn't be here now. I could make this easier on you, but it's important that you go with your natural reaction. A human's own emotions and instincts are usually right."

He was getting distracted again. "Jasper?"

"Ok, ok. You mentioned the Cold Ones – vampires to you and me. You also indicated last night that there was something about me – something sinister. What if I told you that the Cold Ones – vampires - aren't just the stuff of legends but are real and living amongst you." He paused, watching me, waiting for me to react. I tried to take in his words, to imagine such things could exist. I couldn't.

"Continue. Let's just suppose I believe you."

"What if I told you that I, and my family, are vampires?" his golden eyes bore into mine, with a fierce intensity.

I played along, "You're a Cold One? A vampire? So what, now you're going to tell me you can compel me to do your bidding, dematerialise and materialise at will and are just waiting for an opportune moment to drink my blood."

As I said it though, I thought of how my emotions were all over the place whenever I was with him, how I did things I wouldn't normally do, how he had appeared out of nowhere last night (Ok, so he'd been in a car but still) and how he had been immediately after we had been together the night before. I remembered every touch of his cold skin. His unnatural eye colour. The wheels were slowly turning in my head. I was hit by an immense feeling of belief and honesty. All I could do was stare, wide eyed, open mouthed, heart racing, breath quickening. I felt myself drifting away again as blackness descended. And then he was pulling me back, rescuing me, lifting me into his lap, being cradled, rocked, soothed.

"Isabella. .."

I slowly lifted my head to look at him, looking for some sign of a gentle, loving man. Some human sign. I could see only the face of a monster, fierce black eyes set in pale frozen skin, boring into me, intense, strong, unapologetic. I flew out of his arms and ran outside, straight to the jetty.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My apologies it's taken much longer to update this chapter. It's been a bitch to write and real life has been demanding. Updates will probably be slower from now, just because of life, work and all that 'jazz', but will try to do fortnightly updates.**

**Huge thanks to my crack-beta team – Never & TSA-Team. This chapter wouldn't have got here without domysticated. She left big shoes to fill but Never & Team clearly have big feet also.**

**Oh, and Queen Achtland? "You can Google it". But if you can't be bothered, legend has it she was an Irish Queen who was never sexually satisfied, eventually turning to an immortal for satisfaction and marrying him.**

**Chapter 7**

A nearby speedboat immediately started towards me. I had expected Jasper to follow me, to be right behind me, but when I glanced round, he was stood at the glass doors - head down, forehead resting on the glass, hands fisted, shoulders hunched. The speedboat pulled up.

"Miss Swan?" the middle-aged, slightly balding man held out his hand to help me aboard.

"Er, yes. Thanks." I looked back again. He hadn't moved. I paused. "Mr Jenks? Do you think he's OK? Maybe we should check on him?"

"Mr Hale gave specific instructions to take you straight home and not to approach him or the lodge." Seeing my worry he added "I'm sure Mr Hale will be fine."

I hesitated, the rational part of my brain screaming to get in the boat and away as fast as possible, but another part of me straining to run back to him, unable to get the image of him standing alone, broken, out of my head. In that moment I had seen a glimpse of the humanity I had been looking for only a few moments before.

"Miss Swan?"

"Mr Jenks. Could you wait here just a moment?"

"Well, my orders are..."

"Please." I gave him my best pleading look and he shrugged, sitting down in the boat to wait for me.

I walked slowly back towards the cabin. Jasper still hadn't moved. As I got to within a few metres of the house I was hit by a tidal wave of agony that pushed me to the ground, gasping for breath. I was vaguely aware of Jenks shouting on me and scrambling out of the boat, but all my conscious thought was directed to Jasper who had appeared beside me, faster than humanly possible, once again holding me, lifting me, setting me on the ground. Once he had righted me, he dropped his hands from my arms and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'll rein in my emotions until you leave. Did you forget something? Jenks!" His voice was stilted, formal.

"No, Jenks! I'm fine now, thank you! We won't be needing you today after all." I shouted and motioned at Jenks to get back in the speedboat. He hesitated now, looking to Jasper for some direction. I tried to convey silently to Jasper that I wanted to stay, that I needed to stay. I watched as he went to speak to Jenks who then went back out on the lake in the boat, but noted that he stayed closer to the jetty than he had before.

Jasper and I walked silently back inside and sat down in the same positions we had been in before, me at one end of the sofa, one leg curled under the other, facing him mirroring me at the other end, being careful not to touch me. He never took his eyes off of me. He was probably waiting for me to run away again. Pulling my knees up I wrapped my arms round them, dropping my forehead onto my knees and took a deep breath. After collecting myself for a minute or two, I turned to him again and lifted my head to meet his eyes.

"So, a vampire, huh?"

He nodded gravely, but there was a hint of a smile.

"Like a real coffin-sleeping, blood-drinking, wooden-stake-fearing vampire?"

"Most of those are myths Isabella. Nor, for the record, can we hypnotise or dematerialise. Although some of our... abilities may have led people to believe those things."

"Most of them?" I really didn't want to ask, but I couldn't not know. Jasper hesitated, but held my eyes with his.

"All of them, except one."

"Which one?" my whispered question was barely audible.

"Blood drinking." His response was even quieter and we sat in silence as he gave me time to absorb this, all trace of humour disappearing. This was too surreal. By now he was looking at me again, softly but unrepentantly.

"Darlin'. I know how you're feelin', but tell me what you're thinkin'." His Southern accent was more pronounced than ever.

"I ... I don't know what to tell you. I look at you and I see a man, one that I don't understand, one who makes me feel like ... like Queen fucking Achtland, but a man nonetheless. And now you tell me you're a vampire. And I think, no fucking way. Vampires don't exist. But then your skin... it's so cold, your eyes ... your ... everything. Nothing about you is normal yet being with you feels so right. But you're telling me you drink blood. Is that what this is all about, you want my blood?" I was becoming hysterical, rambling but I couldn't stop. "And what do you mean you know how I'm feeling? In fact, no. Let's just stick with the blood for now."

Jasper held my eyes, muttering something to himself, and I could feel calmness seeping into my mind and body. Just enough to take the edge off the hysteria and allow my breathing to return to normal.

"Isabella, my family and I survive on a diet of animal blood. Bears, mountain lions, deer – the area here is plentiful and keeps us well-fed. I won't apologise for what I am and I can't deny human blood, yours in particular, holds a strong attraction but I have mostly abstained for the last five or six decades."

"Five or six decades? Mostly abstained?"

"You're not disgusted by me even though I drink blood – whatever kind it may be." He mused to himself again.

It was said as a statement, not a question but I considered it anyway. I couldn't quite believe the man sitting across from me was a vampire. But I knew he _was_ telling me the truth. Sincerity and honesty radiated from him. By telling me this one thing, he had answered many of my unspoken questions, but now I had a million more. It was true, I wasn't disgusted by him. He was still the same man who had brought out such strong emotions in me in such a short period of time, the man I had dreamt of. I was overwhelmingly curious, and although I was still somewhat afraid of him, it wasn't paralysing terror. Sitting here, quite civilly, in the bright room with a vampire seemed strangely ordinary. Hang on, bright room ... sunlight – don't vampires die in sunlight? Apparently not.

"Well it's a relief that you don't want to kill me for _my_ blood."

In a split second he was pushing me back, leaning over me, one hand on the back of the sofa by my shoulder, the other planted on the opposite side of me, caging me in. His lower body held me down, hips pushed into mine, trapping me. The storm passed over his face again and the demon returned. His face was just inches from mine as he sneered at me.

"Don't ever think I'm not dangerous, Isabella. That I couldn't or wouldn't kill you. You don't yet know just how much danger you are in, just by being with me."

I was instantly gripped by fear but even whilst that fear paralysed my mind; my body shuddered from the contact at our hips and his cool breath on my face.

He gave out a low chuckle but there was no humour in his expression or his voice. "Even now, in the midst of your terror, I can feel you consumed with desire. Don't you see? I could take you, right here, right now."

He thrust his hips into mine and I could feel his erection pressing between my legs, causing instant heat and wetness. He grabbed my hair, jerking my head back, forcing me to look into his eyes. What I saw reflected horrified me, the fear eclipsing any lust I felt. Eyes that had witnessed - probably even caused - danger, aggression, pain and death locked with mine. I tried to scramble away from him. It was futile to try to get away, he had me completely trapped. When he spoke again, his voice was low, seductive.

"I could fuck you till you couldn't walk. And what's more I could make you enjoy every single second of it and be begging for more." He lowered his head to my throat, running his nose from the hollow of my neck up to my pulse point. "I could kiss you here ..." and he did, sparking my desire again. "And then bite you, just like last time. I know you liked that, didn't you? Pleasure borne out of pain. But this time I wouldn't stop. I'd slice effortlessly through your delicate skin with my teeth. Drawing your sweet blood down my throat. " He threw his head back, eyes closed, and hips rocking against mine as he growled in pleasure at the mere thought. "My venom pouring into you. The burning would be excruciating. Yet still you'd be begging for more."

He flicked his tongue against my neck as I closed my eyes, my body as frenzied with lust as my mind was with fear. The only thing I was aware of was his tongue on my skin and his hips pushing against mine. I involuntarily arched against him desperately trying to get more contact.

He sprang off me, vaulting over the sofa to stand a few feet away, leaving me silently begging for more just as he had threatened.

Jasper watched me as I controlled my breathing and pulled myself upright again. His eyes remained dark but his mouth twitched into a one-sided smile. "Do you understand now? You really shouldn't underestimate my bloodlust – or that of any vampire. I have already demonstrated self-control I didn't know I possessed around you Isabella. It took every ounce of mental strength I had not to kill you last night."

"So you thought you'd teach me a lesson? For what? To keep me in line? Just kill me now, if that's how all this is going to end." It wasn't lost on me that provoking a vampire into killing me was probably not particularly smart.

Jasper just laughed, "I don't want to kill you. I like you far too much for that. I'm in…" he stopped short, shaking his head before continuing "… intrigued by you. "

I sighed, rubbing my face with my hand. "Jasper, I don't understand. Well, I understand that you're dangerous and you could kill me, that you're a … vampire. But why go to all this bother? Why prove how much I need to be frightened of you? Why not just walk away? It's like you don't want me to want you."

"Now you're getting it. I _don't_ want you to want me. But you do. And I want you, even though I shouldn't. I tried to keep away, even with all that Alice saw. You really shouldn't be mixed up in my world. But when you told me about your history with Black, I realised you were already in too deep. I don't think I can walk away from you now. But I need you to see me for what I am. I told you last night I wasn't your Happy Ever After. You needed to see it for yourself. I'm not hearts, flowers and candy."

"You make it sound like you're pure evil. The world, supernatural or not, doesn't work like that. Evil can only exist alongside good, and I've seen good in you too."

He came to sit by me again, taking my hands in his. I didn't flinch at his frozen touch this time. "Perhaps that's your problem. You see the good in everybody and everything. Maybe that's why we've ended up here. Are you ready to hear more?"

I nodded mutely again.

"I was born in Texas in 1843. Back then I was Major Jasper Whitlock, youngest Major in the Confederate Army. In 1863 I was turned into a vampire. The whys and wherefores aren't important right now." He cut off my questions, his Southern accent still winding through his usual clipped, formal speech.

His voice alone did things to me that I needed to shake off in order to pay attention. Born in 1843, that made him, what, nearly 170years old...

"Isabella? Are you listenin'?"

"Sorry, yes. Got distracted. Go on."

"The first hundred or so years were troubled to say the least. Eventually I needed something else. I've been with the Cullen's for fifty or sixty years. They introduced me to their way of living – their vegetarian diet as they call it. I was tired of … the alternative. "

He paused, looking at me intently. I wasn't sure if he was looking for a reaction, or a response, or anything. It was still somewhat ridiculous to be considering that all this could be real.

"Do you have anything you want to ask?"

"Erm, only about a million things. But I need a minute to try to get this sorted in my head. Vampire. 170 years old – give or take a few years. Survives on animal blood. Is that all – do you eat or drink anything else at all? All your family? Brothers, sisters, parents? A whole family of vampires living undetected in Forks?"

"No, we don't eat or drink anything else. We can for appearances if we have to, but we need to bring it back up later. Most unpleasant. Most human tales of vampires are just myths. We have supernatural strength and speed, although we learn to disguise it around humans. Eyesight, hearing – all our senses and reflexes are heightened beyond most of those in the natural world. We don't sleep. At all. Hence no need for coffins." A small smile at me to acknowledge my earlier question. "We can't be killed by wooden stakes – they wouldn't penetrate our skin. Dematerialising probably comes from our speed, here one minute, gone the next." And he literally disappeared before my eyes, reappearing in the doorway before returning to his previous position.

"I won't regale you with an entire vampire physiology lesson, we don't have time anyway, but as for my family, yes. Carlisle is the oldest, our father for all intents and purposes. He found the rest of us – or we found him – in various ways."

"Did he ... change ... you?"

"Not me. Edward, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. But all were close to death. He wouldn't do it otherwise. Preservation of life and all being paramount for a doctor." Jasper chuckled quietly.

It was another incomprehensible paradigm – a vampire as a human doctor, exposed to blood every single day. "So what about you and Alice?"

For the first time, he broke eye contact, looking instead at our joined hands. "Alice found me and took us both to Carlisle. She saw that that's where we should be, so that's where we went."

"Wait a minute. Did you and she ...?"

"Yes. For a time, we were together. It didn't work out – just wasn't meant to be. She fitted in with the Cullen's right away. I always felt like I was only there for her, on the fringes of the family. My past made it more difficult to adopt and stick to their principles. When we split, Carlisle insisted I stay for a while and well, I'm still there."

I suddenly picked up on something he'd mentioned a couple of times but I didn't really understand, "You said Alice saw that you should be with the Cullen's. You also said she saw something about me. What do you mean 'saw'?"

He began rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb but at least he was looking at me again. "Alice has visions."

"What, she sees into the future?"

"Yes, something like that. It's a little hard to describe. It's all subjective though and anything she sees can change with a single decision from someone. It's not a precise science, but you wouldn't want to bet against her."

I pulled back a little, eyeing him warily "What has she seen about me?"

"I don't know exactly. She's an evasive little fucker sometimes. You could ask her, but I'm not sure she'd tell you."

I had no reason to doubt what he was telling me, but I couldn't fathom why I would be appearing in some vampire's visions of the future. Something else was spiking my curiosity.

"Is it just Alice that sees the future?"

"Yes."

"Yes, but?" I knew he was holding something back, he was too hesitant.

"But a number of vampires have special abilities or gifts - or curses depending on how you look at it. Edward reads minds ... sort of hears thoughts."

I tried frantically to remember what I had been thinking about in the car last night. Something that would have caused Edward to react to me the way he had. Instead, the thought of Edward hearing the things I had been thinking about Jasper caused a blazing heat to crawl over my cheeks.

"Don't worry, he can't read your mind."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Neither does he. Infuriated him no end, let me tell you. It was damn hilarious to watch him try." He was grinning at the memory. Maybe that explained some of Edwards' animosity towards me. But it wasn't my fault he couldn't read my mind, was it?

"Any other abilities I should know about?"

Jasper closed his eyes for just a moment before answering, "I'm an empath. I'm very attuned to the emotions of others. "

With that, he rose and headed to the kitchen, effectively putting an end to the conversation, leaving me considering his revelations. Mind-reading vampires? Psychic vampires? Jasper's ability seemed a little tame in comparison, although it explained how he had been able to pinpoint my feelings all the time. I desperately tried to regain control of my thoughts and somehow come to terms with the realisation of, not just the existence of vampires, but that I was having some kind of relationship – using the term loosely – with one. As I was trying to make sense of it all, Jasper returned, having retrieved the brown lunch bag from the kitchen, along with a glass of water.

"Eat."

I hadn't realised how long we'd been at the cabin and knew I hadn't eaten anything all day other than a cereal bar a few hours earlier. So I ate. Why does a plain tuna sandwich taste so much better when it's been prepared by a man?

"I'm going to ring Carlisle. Check that they're ok and ready for you to come home with me. I want to talk more about the Quileutes and its better if we do that there."

I paused, sandwich in hand. I'd almost forgotten that that was what this was all about. But those were old legends, hundreds of years old. I didn't think the Quileutes even believed them anymore. And I hadn't even considered meeting the rest of the Cullens. Putting my sandwich down, I fidgeted nervously with the hem of my shirt, finding invisible loose threads to pull at. Jasper knelt down in front of me almost immediately, putting his hands on my thighs, dipping his head to look at me.

"What is it? Why suddenly so nervous?"

"Why can't _you_ tell me now?"

"Because I'm not sure what I can tell you. It's their story to tell. Carlisle has been more engaged with them than any of us. His experience and knowledge might be useful. I'm beyond surprised that your asshole of an ex-boyfriend was able to keep you in the dark for all this time."

"Jasper, it's getting late. This has been a lot to take in – too much. _They_ might be ready, but I don't think I am."

"It's ok. We'll stay here a while." He soothed, stroking my hair, kissing the top of my head. It wasn't ok; I couldn't take all this in. I needed time but I didn't want to run away from him again. As much as I wanted to cocoon myself away with Jasper, I knew I couldn't. I needed to get my head straight.

I couldn't look at him, afraid of his reaction.

"Jasper, you don't understand. I want to – I need to – go home. I need some time to get used to all this before I go meeting a whole family of ... vampires. I need you to wait for me."

He was silent for a few minutes as I watched him from under my lashes. His face was completely impassive but his eyes darkened and his hand which still rested on my thigh, gripped me harder.

"I will take you home but I cannot leave you alone. I won't risk it. Not now."

"You can't be with me all the time."

"You're underestimating me again, Isabella."

"No, you can't. I need to sleep and to work. Don't you need to eat ... drink ... hunt ... whatever it is you do?"

"I can hunt while you're sleeping and have one of the others stay with you."

I still didn't understand why everyone was so determined to protect me. I'd just spent a whole night and day with a vampire and was still very much alive.

"You sound just like Jake! I'm not that fragile."

"Yes you are. And don't ever compare me to him." He stood up, glowering down at me as he voiced his contempt for Jake again.

It seemed like I couldn't stop myself from making him angry. Maybe if I pushed this, I would end up pushing him away, or being hurt in the process. But I was not ready to face his family. I needed to adjust to this new reality, a reality where vampires were living amongst us. And I couldn't do that with Jasper around. With him around, nothing else mattered. I could have easily stayed in this cabin with him, in this alternate plane of existence and not let anybody or anything in. Just him and me. But we couldn't do that, so I needed some headspace. So far my body had dictated how I responded to and felt about Jasper; now I needed my brain to step up.

"Fine. Is there someone you can call to stay with you? Someone you trust?" Something made him capitulate, although he was clearly still angry.

"I'll call Leah. She can stay with me tonight and I'll call you in the morning."

"I'll take you home then. But I'll never be far away."

I rolled my eyes, but he cut off the accompanying sigh with an aggressive, possessing kiss which left me not caring if he was vampire or human.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Apologies for the delay again folks. Real life getting in the way again. Everyone needs a little Leah in their life and I've got beta-tag-team Never & Team. **

**Thanks to everybody who has read, reviewed, favourited (is that a word?) or put on alert. And if you haven't voted in the Vampies, I'm sending Jasper round to do some mind-bending.**

**D'oh! I forgot DISCLAIMER last chapter. Nothing's changed so far as I know. SM still owns all things Twilight.**

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**Chapter 8**

We didn't talk much on the ride back to Forks. I called Leah who promised to meet me at home and stay the night. I probably wouldn't have bothered asking her to stay over if it hadn't been for Jasper's pointed looks before I ended the call. I mulled over the things Jasper had told me and watched him closely as he drove.

Whilst he seemed bored and distracted by the tedium of driving, barely paying attention to the road, I was only now aware of how completely in control he was. His eyes would darken, briefly looking at the forest, or the sky, or me before he relaxed again. Was he reacting to a noise or a movement, a perceived threat, invisible to my lesser human senses? Every movement I made, he countered with a look or a gesture of his own. I wasn't sure if the air of strength, control and guardedness he exuded came from his military past, his vampiric nature or both.

Thinking of his military history, my mind began to picture him in one of the uniforms I had seen on the pictures in the cabin, the mental image spiking my heart rate. He looked at me with a knowing devilish smile and a quirked eyebrow. I quickly turned my head, trying to cover the rising blush by making a curtain of hair between us. He just chuckled softly to himself. Damn empath!

I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him. The physical pull he held over me was even more intense in the confined space. But the only time I had ever initiated physical contact, he had pulled away. Even when we made love I had only been allowed to touch him on his terms, and then only minimally.

Arriving at my house, to my surprise and disappointment, he didn't insist on coming in to wait for Leah to arrive. He obviously wasn't expecting a surprise ambush in the next ten minutes from whatever or whoever he thought was out to get me.

Instead he kissed me. He pushed a stray hair behind my ear, his fingers continuing to run through my hair until they gently gripped the back of my neck. His other hand snaked up my thigh and came to rest on my hip bone, his thumb drawing little circles. I lifted my head and he held us mere inches apart, his dark amber eyes burning into mine. Lowering his gaze he skimmed his tongue over my lips, inhaling. He lifted his eyes, the warm gold locking with mine again. I was only too aware of my blood rushing around my pounding heart. Fully closing his eyes this time, his cold and firm lips met my warm yielding mouth. His tongue searched out mine for the briefest moment and then the contact was broken.

I waited for the fireworks and Hallelujah chorus again but, apparently, they were only in my head.

"Are you going inside, Isabella? Or have you changed your mind about coming home with me?"

In that moment I felt entirely connected to him. I wanted to be with him, I could just go with him. There was nothing to stop me. I could go home with him.

A blast of cold air hit me as he opened the car door for me. I hadn't even realised he had moved. The chilled wind shook off the effects of the kiss. I watched him smirking, waiting for me to answer and realised that was exactly what he wanted to happen. I also noticed the slightly darkened look in his eyes and the tell-tale straining in his jeans. Well, two could play at that game.

Ignoring his helping hand as he held the car door I brushed past him, with as much scorn as I could muster, deliberately grazing my hand against his crotch as I did so. "You don't play fair ... Major Whitlock. And I'm going inside."

Well, that was a first. Jasper looked stunned. He was just stood there mouth open, watching me as I let myself into the house. He recovered quickly though and grinned. Possibly the first completely genuine, relaxed smile I had seen from him.

"Damn, Isabella," he called after me. "I never thought _you'd_ be the death of _me_. _Major Whitlock?_ Do you have any idea what you just did to me?"

Relishing this unexpected, momentary power over him, I peeked coyly through the partly open door, "Oh, I've got a fair idea. Goodnight, Major." And I closed the door before either he could reply or I regained my mind.

I stood with my back pressed against the door until I heard the car roar away. The easy happiness from that small exchange stayed with me for a few minutes. It was the first nearly normal conversation we had ever had, and I think we had both been surprised by it. I didn't flirt. Ever. I had carefully kept my guard up with him all day, and it had felt good to finally let that go.

Discarding my jacket and purse, I flopped on the couch to wait for Leah, flicking on some inane TV programme about a bunch of impossibly beautiful people living in some impossibly beautiful houses. I tried to focus on the programme and not on the day's events. Without Jasper nearby it seemed even more ludicrous that he was a vampire. But he was. And what did that mean for us? Was there even an "us"?

The doorbell roused me from my thoughts. "Come in Leah! It's open." I yelled and heard the door opening and closing in response.

"So, Bella, what's he done now? I assume this is the same fuckwit you were mooning over on Friday. I thought we agreed you'd forget about him. You blew Jess off for him didn't you?"

"Nice to see you too, Leah. Just launch right into it, why don't you?" I smiled at her though, as she settled down beside me. "And for your information, I did not blow Jess off, OK? I went up there last night."

"Fine, but you have seen him again haven't you?"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Why the hell else would you call me on a Sunday night, asking me to stay over." She paused and adopted a child-like voice, "Or did you want me to bring my nail polish and we could give each other manicures and do each other's hair and... Come on, we're not twelve, Bella. Sleepovers are not really our thing. Something, or rather _someone_, must have upset you."

"I'm not upset. I just needed some company."

"Well, I'm here now. Spit it out. What's happened?"

"I don't think I can tell you."

"What the hell? Believe me, it could not be any worse than the things I'm imagining right now."

"I don't know if I _want_ to talk about it. We spent the day together. He was... " I was searching for the right words, knowing I couldn't give her the full story. Hell, she'd have me locked up in a straightjacket. "... intense."

"Uh oh. You got beer?" She was up and raiding the fridge before I could answer. Finding some bottles in the fridge she started to make her way back to me; then she paused, turned back to the kitchen, and re-emerged a minute or two later with the beers, two glasses, a bottle of vodka and giant packet of chips under one arm. "I think we might be in for a long night."

I sighed as she settled beside me again, and took the offered bottle.

"Intense isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"No. But you don't exactly look like your cup overfloweth with happiness."

"It's complicated, Leah."

"Complicated. Like you need 'complicated'. Is he really worth it?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to think about it at all?"

"That was an easy question. Just him and me. So worth it. I think. But it's not that simple."

"You _think_? Not that simple? Doesn't sound like you're sure to me."

I couldn't articulate my feelings about Jasper to her. I couldn't even sort them out in my own head. "I'm sure I've never felt this way before. What I had with Jake doesn't even register compared to this. It's weird, when I'm with him, it's like there's some kind of ... pull."

She raised an eyebrow, and thought for a moment.

"But something's holding you back. You're wary of something."

"Like I said, he's intense. Brooding. Ominous."

"Sounds like a laugh a minute." She took the empty beer bottle from my hand, laying it on the table and replacing it with a glass of vodka.

"He can be sweet and protective. He's smart and charismatic and damn fucking sexy and I can't stay away from him!" I slammed the glass down.

Leah laughed, "Ah, so now we're getting to it. Just fuck him and get him out your system."

I groaned and let my head fall forward.

"You fucked him already! Well, it's good to see you're finally getting over Jake. But seriously, how long have you known this guy? How much do you know about him?"

I groaned again, "It wasn't really like that. I didn't plan for him to stay the night, it just sort of happened."

"He stayed the night? You spent all night and all day with him. Jesus, he moves fast."

"You've got him all wrong, Leah. It wasn't all him. But then he told me some... things... about him and his family and I just needed some space. And he didn't want to leave me alone. I guess he figured I'd be upset, so he suggested I ask a friend to stay."

"What things?" she eyed me warily.

"I can't really go into details. Suffice to say, I should not even be considering a relationship with him. But I don't think I can walk away."

"Shit, Bella. You can't tell me that and then 'not go into details'. What are they, the fucking Mafia or something."

"No, nothing like that." I paused trying to come up with some plausible explanation without lying outright. "They live kind of ... an alternative lifestyle."

She took a final swig from her beer bottle, muttering something that sounded like, "Hell, I am _all_ about the alternative lifestyle" into the glass.

"Forget the rest of the Sopranos then. The fact is that you've already been introduced to his dick and want to stick around for more. He must have something else going for him. Half the cretins in this town have been mooching after you since you split with Jake and you've not once given any of them so much as a glance."

"He makes me feel, Leah."

"Feel what?"

"Just feel. I haven't felt anything except cold and empty for months. In the last week I've felt more emotion, more depth of emotion than I ever imagined possible. I've felt happiness, comfort, lust, curiousity. I'll admit I've felt afraid and angry at times too, but even if that was all, it's better than feeling nothing."

"Bella, honestly, I'll be ecstatic for you if you've found someone who makes you happy. But fear? Anger? You're not exactly painting a rosy picture here. How can you even consider being with someone who scares you?"

I sighed, pouring another long shot of vodka. "He is frightening but I'm not scared of him. Like I said, he seems to want to protect me. He reminds me of Jake in that way."

"Oh, great. Another fucking Jake. You sure know how to pick 'em."

"You know that Jake's not so bad. You've known him your entire life, Leah. Don't be so hard on him."

"You are the same Bella who sat here just the other week, crying 'Jake broke my heart! Why doesn't Jake love me anymore? What does she have that I don't?', aren't you? This boy of yours has done more in the past week to get you over Jake than I've been able to do in the last four fucking months, I'll give him that."

I punched her shoulder for her frankly offensive imitation of me, and tried to lighten the mood. "Trust me, Leah. He's no boy. He is all man where it counts."

"Shut the fuck up. I do not want to hear about your bedroom antics." She stuck her fingers in her ears chanting, "I'm not listening! I'm not listening!"

I needed a break from all things Jasper so asked Leah about her love life, knowing it would lead to a monologue of how Forks and the Res were full of degenerates, not one of whom would get within six feet of her and her pussy, and that it was only thanks to Mr Rabbit and friends that she wasn't completely devoid of feeling there.

"You're not really listening to me are you?"

"I'm sorry Leah. I'm just tired, I guess." Getting up from the couch, I started to clear away the empty bottles and glasses. Leah followed me upstairs and we took turns in the bathroom .

"God, we are fucking twelve. We've even got matching pajamas." Leah groaned as she pulled her pajamas out of her overnight bag, almost identical to the shorts and vest I had changed into.

"Well, I'm sure I've got some silky babydoll thing somewhere that Renee sent me. I could change into that if you'd feel more comfortable, girlfriend." I blew her a kiss and a wink.

"Get the hell into bed, Bella." She scowled but climbed into the bed beside me.

We had done this a couple of times, usually more because one of us was too drunk to drive home than by design. Leah flopped onto her stomach, her black hair fanning out around her head. As usual I lay on my side facing her, resting my head on both hands.

The minutes ticked by and I was sure she was asleep, until she whispered, "Bella, I don't think I've been much help tonight. But if you really think this guy can make you happy, you should hold onto him and never let go. Fuck his family, fuck Jake, fuck this bitter old hag you call your friend. Be careful, but just ... hold on. Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight bitter old hag," I whispered back and received a swift kick to my shin. I lay thinking about what she said, until finally I drifted into fitful sleep, dreaming of myself in old vampire movies; of Jasper standing with his back to me, facing down some giant wolf-like animal; of Charlie and Leah being attacked by some faceless monsters and left with blood pouring from their necks. Finally I succumbed to deep dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here we are again. Took way longer than expected but hey ho. Too much time working and not enough writing! ****I never get tired of saying Thank You to Never and Team (though they probably get tired of me!). Oh, and if you review me I might just send Jasper round to do a little mindfuckery with you. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer still owns. Unless you know something I don't.**

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**Chapter 9**

Waking the next morning, I was aware of an oppressive tension filling the room. My sleep-addled brain figured it was a hangover of the disturbing dreams I'd been having.

"You awake?" I kicked my foot out, expecting to make contact with Leah's sprawled limbs but met only cool sheets. I didn't know what time it was, but Leah was never up before noon. I could feel something like... hostility in the air, growing in intensity as the minutes passed. Warily I turned my head to the empty space where Leah had fallen asleep, the imprint of her head still visible on the pillow. I pushed up on both hands to crane my head round the room, my gaze stopping abruptly on the farthest corner.

My breath caught in my lungs, and I sprang to a seated position, hugging my knees, backed against the headboard. I jumped as a photograph of me as a child wearing one of Renee's biggest, floppiest sunhats and sporting a big goofy grin to match crashed to the floor.

The silhouetted figure didn't so much as flinch when he spoke, "You didn't tell me Leah was Quileute."

What the hell? That's what he's pissed off about?

"You didn't ask. You told me to call someone I trusted. I'd trust her with my life."

"Maybe you already did."

"What? What difference does it make anyway? And where is she?"

He took a step towards the bed. I could see his face now, even though the light allowed in by the drapes was dim. I could see the smirk on his mouth as he answered.

"I suggested – and Leah... agreed - it would be best if she went home."

"Leah _agreed_? Leah doesn't just agree to anything. You did that thing, didn't you? "

"What thing?" he tilted his head to the side in amusement.

"You know like at Jess' party where just one look from you made every woman in that room swarm you like bees round a fucking honey pot."

Jasper laughed a low, throaty laugh throwing his head back "Something like that." Raising his head to look at me and cocking an eyebrow, "You know I can sense that jealousy."

I scrubbed at my face with my palms, hopelessly trying to hide the creeping redness.

"Trust me Isabella, it's those women that should be fifty shades of green with jealousy."

Fully awake now, I pushed the duvet back and swung my feet round to sit on the edge of the bed.

"How long have you been here? And how did you get in?"

Jasper just shrugged in response and handed me a grey sweat hoody that had been discarded on a chair. He had realised I was cold even before I did.

"So, are you still mad at me – not that you've got any right to be?"

"Oh, I am insanely angry that you didn't tell me about Leah. But, I'm fairly sure she is not a threat. She's very protective of you. I get that."

"Not a threat? What the hell do you think she's going to do to me? Or any of them for that matter?"

Instead of answering me, he just shook his head and sighed before walking over to the window. He pulled back the drapes and I realised the window was already open. In a swift move Jasper jumped into the open window frame and perched on the ledge.

"Charlie's downstairs. I'll pick you up at the corner of the street in half an hour and we'll head out to Carlisle's."

"Jasper!" I realised what he was about to do too late and rushed to lean out the open window expecting to see him writhing in pain on the ground with at least a broken bone or two. But he was gone. Leaning out further, I still couldn't see him or any sign that he had been here. No footsteps, no car engine, nothing.

"Yeah, you better run!" I yelled half-heartedly out the window before slamming it shut. My hand hesitated over the latch but I decided to leave it. Not that I expected him to come back really.

In the shower, I mulled over the impending visit to the Cullen house. I still didn't think of Jasper as a vampire first and foremost. He was just Jasper. I was getting used to him, and I think he was getting used to me. It was a whole different thing to walk voluntarily into a nest of vampires. If Edward's reaction to me was anything to go by, I was pretty sure they weren't too thrilled about a human woman straying into their world.

But then there was Alice. From the little I'd seen of her, she was certainly the sugar and spice to Edward snails and puppy-dogs tails. Maybe the rest of the family would be more like her.

Brushing my hair, I was still felt sombre. I was more convinced they were all going to be like Edward and, despite Jasper's tales of vegetarian vampires, that they were currently drawing straws to decide who was going to get to drink my blood. I trusted Jasper to protect me but I couldn't trust the rest of them. Surely six of them could overpower him if it came down to it, or if he left me alone for a minute or two?

But I needed to find out about Jasper's hostility towards Jake and the rest of the tribe. Opening the closet, I was faced with haphazard piles of folded jeans, rows of hanging t-shirts and jumbled piles of sneakers. I wished I had something a little more glamorous in my wardrobe. Alice had looked like she had walked off a catwalk and, from Jess' description, Rosalie was likely to be the same. Even Jasper was always immaculately groomed. My life up until now had had little occasion for heels and sparkles, but I'd give anything now for a pair of cute heels and one of the silk, fitted numbers Renee had tried to foist on me many times.

Fuck it, they'd just have to take me as they found me. I did however pull out a fitted blue plaid shirt that I knew clung in all the right places. Worn over a white vest with my best denims and the least beat-up sneakers it looked ... passable. I twisted a section of hair at each temple and secured them off my face with grips. Looking in the mirror, I paused for only a moment before slicking on some lip gloss and mascara, inwardly rolling my eyes at myself. I never wore make-up. Hell, the only reason I even had any was because Angela had given me a few items for the party last week.

It had been twenty minutes since Jasper left. I was sure he was already waiting for me. Whatever force it was that pulled me to him when we were near was, at this moment, drawing me to him again. My whole being yearned to sprint down the stairs and out of the house. I could make it to the corner of the street in about a minute and a half.

Forcing myself to walk downstairs at a normal pace, it wasn't until I saw Charlie sitting at the table, his head bent over the newspaper, that I even remembered he was home.

"Hey Charlie. How was night-shift?"

"Hey, Bells. What have you been up to? Feels like I haven't seen you for days."

Well, I fucked a stranger, discovered he was a vampire with a burning hatred for my ex-fiancé, and today I'm going to meet the rest of his vampire family. Maybe tomorrow I'll have some zombies round for lunch.

"Not much. Leah was round last night."

"How's she doing? Oh, Cora rang earlier. Said she hadn't heard from you and wanted to know if you could do any shifts this week."

"OK, thanks. I'll give her a ring later."

"You free for dinner with your old dad this week? Just the diner."

I shifted uncomfortably. I had barely given Charlie a second thought in the last week as wrapped up as I was in Jasper. A familiar guilt crept into my chest and sat heavily.

"Sure, Charlie. Once I've checked shifts with Cora, I'll let you know. Do you want some breakfast? I could whip up some omelettes."

"Nah. You look like you're going out and I'm just heading up." He nodded towards the stairs, and then fixed his gaze on me. "I'm glad Leah's been around. Billy's worried about you, you know."

"Billy?"

"Uh, yeah. Kept saying at the weekend that I should know what you're getting up to. Who you're spending time with. That you're always welcome down there."

"What's it to Billy?"

"Nothing. And I told him so. Told him if his son had the same concern for you, you'd still be together and he'd know for himself how you were."

"Thanks, Charlie. But I don't want you falling out with Billy again." I wrapped my arm around his neck and kissed his head, resting my chin there. He patted my arm twice before pulling me off him. Charlie didn't do displays of affection and, for the most part, I was grateful for that. Today however, it felt like we both needed that connection although I wasn't exactly sure why.

The impetus to immediately run to Jasper had subsided during my exchange with Charlie so I took a few minutes to eat some cereal, leaning against the kitchen counter wondering what Billy Black's agenda was. I was sure it was more than just fatherly concern.

~0~0~

The vampire nest, as I'd come to think of it, was actually a large, contemporary house set some way off the main road in the forest. Lots of glass and steel. Not a gargoyle or a gothic arch in sight, although this did little to settle my growing trepidation. Jasper took my hand to help me out of the car and I refused to let go. He smiled indulgently at me and held tighter. I clung to him as we made our way up the innocuous looking driveway. Had he been human, I'm sure my fingernails would have drawn blood with how tightly I grasped his hand with both of mine. As it was, had my nails have been longer than the stumps they were they would have broken as they pushed against his inflexible skin.

Jasper didn't speak as we entered the main room of the house where six beautiful, pale, golden-eyed, people stood. Neither the people nor the house would have looked out of place on the set of the T.V. programme from yesterday. I vaguely recognised Edward who was standing near the large windows, the epitome of mean and moody. He didn't acknowledge my presence, but the tall blonde woman standing next to him eyed me warily.

Before I could get a chance to properly see the others, the dark-haired woman I recognised from Jess' party appeared in front of me, clapping her hands together. "Bella! At last! So good to finally meet you properly." She frowned at Jasper, "Why has it taken you this long to get her here, Jas?" She turned back to me, her smile warm and friendly but as she moved to hug me, I cowered behind Jasper.

Alice glowered up at Jasper again, "What the hell, Jas? Can't you help her to _not_ be terrified for a while?"

"It's good for her to be fearful, Alice. Natural." He took a step back, angling his body between me and his family. "Back off."

A man with short, dark hair stepped up beside Alice. He was huge, taller even than Jasper with the bulk of a weightlifter. My first instinct was to grip Jasper even harder, but his face broke into an easy grin as he waved breezily at me, his golden eyes twinkling. "Easy, Jas. Bella, I'm Emmett. This is Alice, obviously. I think you know Edward and that..." – he tipped his head at the blonde woman standing beside Edward – "... is Rose. Hey, we're pussycats compared to Jasper here."

The idea of this huge bear of a man being a pussycat made me smile involuntarily and release the breath I was holding. Jasper didn't move, continuing to shield me from them, but began to rub circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

A couple who I assumed had to be Esme and Carlisle stepped forward and Carlisle spoke, his voice soft and soothing, "Bella, would you feel more at ease if my family left? Jasper and I can speak with you alone."

I could see Alice pouting, looking like she was preparing for an argument. I cut her off, "Thank you, Dr Cullen. It's not necessary for them to leave their home, but if there is somewhere we can talk more privately, I'd appreciate it."

"She does realise we can hear everything that's said within this house and a good bit beyond, doesn't she?" Edward directed his acid remark to Rose who just smirked back.

"He does realise I'm right here, doesn't he, Jasper?" I childishly mimicked his tone but I was pissed off that he seemed to dislike me for no apparent reason. "Yes, Edward, I realise that. Doesn't mean you should have to endure my presence any more than I have to suffer yours. I'm just trying to make this easier on all of us." _Fuck, there I go provoking vampires again. I really do have a death wish._

The room was silent but I could practically feel the pride bounce off of Jasper and relaxed again. Looking round I could see Alice and Rose looking warily at Edward, Emmett was grinning at me. Carlisle and Edward locked eyes, seemingly sharing a silent conversation or at least one too quiet for me to hear.

Esme broke the silence, "Alright. Edward, Bella is a guest in this house and a friend of Jasper's. After everything he has done for you, I expect you to treat her with the same respect you would him."

I suppressed a bubble of laughter rising at the sight of this menacing man being admonished like a child by a woman acting like his mother but who looked to be not much older than he himself was. Edward merely stalked up the open-plan staircase in response, the sound of a door slamming reverberating round the house a few seconds later.

Carlisle turned his attention to Jasper, "Jasper, we can talk in my office. Unless there's somewhere else you think Bella would be more comfortable."

"Your office will be fine, Dr Cullen." I was capable of speaking for myself. And with that I let Jasper lead me to Carlisle Cullen's office.

The office had a different feel to the airy, contemporary style I'd seen in the house so far. Carved wooden bookshelves covered one whole wall, neatly stacked leather-bound volumes filling every inch of space. Another wall was filled with paintings in ornate gilt frames. Carlisle's desk was made of a dark wood, matching green-leather upholstered chair. A claret leather sofa and armchair completed the antique feel. Sherlock Holmes himself wouldn't look out of place in here.

"Esme hates the decor, but indulges me. I'm afraid I can be rather traditional and it reminds me of my roots." Carlisle smiled at me.

"It's lovely, Dr Cullen. You're English?"

"Yes, but that's a story for another day, Bella. Sit, please. And call me Carlisle."

Jasper sits in the sofa, pulling me down with him, keeping hold of my hand but staying silent. Carlisle sits in the armchair opposite, leaning his elbows on his knees. He is almost as tall as Jasper, his hair much blonder and, although the same golden colour his eyes are much softer. I feel much more at ease here with just Carlisle and Jasper. Carlisle's demeanour is naturally calming – serene almost - and I'm more convinced of his chosen profession now, and how suited he is to it despite his true nature.

"Bella, I'm sure you still have lots of questions and Jasper will answer them over the coming days but he wanted me to talk to you specifically about our history with the Quileute tribe. I will tell you what I can but some of it is their story to tell. I cannot and will not encroach on their traditions and customs but it may help you to understand why Jasper feels the way he does about them."

"Why Jasper feels the way he does? Don't you hate them too? I figured this to be some kind of family feud."

"I do not hate them, and I don't think that Jasper actually hates them either."

Jasper stiffened slightly beside me, exchanging a look with Carlisle before the older man spoke to me again.

"For centuries our kind have been enemies of the Quileute, although I bear them no ill and have no quarrel with them. When I decided to make a somewhat permanent base in Forks, I knew we had to come to some agreement with them, for their sake as well as ours, not to mention our neighbours here. Fortunately Ephraim Black was open to receiving me and after hearing of our diet, he was assured we meant no harm to the people of the area. He and I signed a treaty – the tribe would allow us to live in peace as long as we did not feed on humans or go onto their lands."

"Hang on a minute. They knew what you were and "allowed" you to live in peace? What are they, some kind of vampire hunters?"

Carlisle gave a tight smile, "Something like that, yes. Anyway we settled here and have been back off and on in the intervening years. The last time we lived here was probably the longest we had settled and a new generation of Quileutes learned of us. Around seven years ago, unbeknownst to us, an old friend of Jasper's came to visit unexpectedly. She and Edward had been having a relationship. She had never visited us here before and inadvertently strayed into Quileute territory. Immediately they found her, they knew she was not like us." Seeing my puzzled expression he clarified, "She did not follow our diet."

"How did they know?"

"When following our natural diet, our kind have crimson eyes due to the saturation of human blood in our system. The new generation of Quileute had always been more aggressive than previous leaders, less accepting of us despite the truce. Charlotte didn't stand a chance. She was outnumbered and unprepared, and they were young and impulsive."

"They ... killed her?"

"Yes."

Jasper remained motionless and impassive while Carlisle spoke.

"I'm sorry Jasper. How long had you known her?"

"Pretty much since I'd been turned." Still no readable emotion.

Carlisle began to speak again, "Edward wanted revenge. He went searching for the one that killed her that very night. Fortunately Jasper and Rosalie were able to stop him. Jasper left immediately with Edward to prevent any more bloodshed. After speaking with Billy Black and the other elders, I decided to move the rest of the family out too. The young people in the tribe felt our presence was encouraging other vampires to the area and that Charlotte was the first of many. The treaty was unstable at best, in tatters at worst."

I couldn't believe that my friends, my _family _had been involved in all this and that I had never known about it. How could Jacob keep all this from me? Did he even know? He would only have been about sixteen when all this happened – perhaps he didn't know.

"Bella, this is our home. I needed to bring my family back and renegotiate the treaty with the tribe leaders. However, there are those in the tribe who don't want a treaty and don't understand how their leaders can even be considering it. I know this must be difficult for you to hear and to be honest, I don't know what your involvement in this means. Alice saw that you should be with us and, well, here you are."

After yesterday's revelations, all this was too much to process. My head was literally spinning, my legs shaking and I was gasping for breath.

"I need some air."

Before the final word was out of my mouth, I was in Jasper's arms and out the door. He carried me to a large clearing a little way from the house and sat me down on a large, flat rock. I watched a lone twig being carried down the rushing water of a nearby stream, knowing Jasper was watching me, waiting for me to do something or say something.

I didn't know if I could do this. I thought I had reconciled Jasper being a vampire, but meeting his family I had felt vulnerable and threatened, even by Alice which was ridiculous as she had been nothing but nice to me. I wasn't sure I could hold my own amongst them. I didn't like relying on Jasper to keep me safe. Add to that, the history with Jake's people and could I ever really belong with them?

And then I realised. Six months ago I would have called them _my_ people, but had I ever really been one of them? An intense anger towards Jake, Billy and the rest of them flared in me.

Jasper knelt in front of me and tipped my chin up to look at him. I met his eyes, as always hard and unrepentant. But I realised that although I had known him for little more than a week, I already knew more about him than I ever had about Jake. The anger gave way only to be replaced with a familiar sadness as powerful as when Jake had left me. The dull empty ache spread out from my chest chilling my entire body. This wasn't just about my relationship with Jake, the bonds I had with all of my friends and family at the reservation were disintegrating. They had _all_ been complicit in keeping the truth of their very culture from me – a culture I had adopted as my own and thought they had accepted me into.

The tears welled in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. Jasper gently kissed the wet trails, flicking out his tongue to wipe away the wet drops. Standing up again, he lifted me with him and set me on my feet on the rock which for once made me a good few inches taller than him. Taking my hands, Jasper gently wrapped my arms around his neck, and his own around my waist and we stood like that. Just being. Holding on.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Are you still with me? Apologies for the slow update - I could use real life, holidays, technological breakdowns and so on as an excuse but I won't bore you with the details. Never/Team - couldn't do it without you guys.**

**This chapter's for rustyspanx - you can thank her later.**

**Disclaimer: same old. She still owns all that. I own what's not that.**

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**Chapter 10**

We sat on that rock for what seemed like hours. I sat between Jasper's legs, my back against his chest as he held me. He told me some more about his life – both before he was changed and afterwards. I could tell it was difficult for him to talk about it, but I was grateful he didn't seem to be holding anything back. At this moment I needed honesty from him. Not only had he fought in the Civil War, he had spent a long time as second-in-command in a brutal vampiric war in the South. It was during this time that he met Charlotte who had apparently been mated to his deputy, Peter.

"What happened to Peter? How did Charlotte end up with Edward?"

"Peter and Charlotte lived their lives on the run from Maria who was constantly trying to persuade them to join her again. They knew she wanted to gain control over most of the vampire population in the Americas and then to challenge the Volturi."

"The Volturi?"

"The closest thing to vampire royalty you'll ever see. Almost as sadistic and vicious as Maria. They have ruled for centuries, and like to 'collect' gifted vampires for their personal guard. They too had been chasing Peter for years. He realised that in order to get rid of Maria, he would have to work with the Volturi. Char refused to have anything to do with them, having been in servitude to Maria for so long and barely getting out alive, she knew once the Volturi got their hands on Peter they would never let him leave. Peter went to Europe, promising he'd come back to her and she was waiting for him. Edward was just a distraction."

"Why did you stop Edward going after the Quileutes?" As soon as I said the word, my chest began to ache. Jasper held me closer, and the pain subsided.

"Edward and Charlotte weren't mated. He knew that as well as Char did. He wasn't going after them on some holy crusade to avenge her death. He has always strived to maintain the humanity that Carlisle has, but it's been much more difficult for him. Over the last few decades the conflict between his humanity and his 'inner monster'- as he calls it - has become more intense. He tried dating human women figuring he could 'cure' himself of his bloodlust by being around them more, like Carlisle. But it barely even took the edge off. And he couldn't bring himself to satisfy his other ... urges... with them for fear of hurting them.

"Most of my family have given in to our true nature to varying degrees – some of us more than others. Personally, I've found that, having made peace with who and what I am, it's easier to control. I don't beat myself up for giving in to my natural instincts either – it's completely unrealistic to think I'll live for hundreds of years and never taste human blood again. It's been at the forefront of my mind for at least the last week or so..." he paused, smirking at me.

"So, back to Edward. Char had given him an outlet – not for the thirst obviously but they both needed what the other could give – sex mostly I think. Their relationship distracted him from his self-loathing and her from her loneliness. So when she was killed, Carlisle was worried Edward was going to turn his back on our lifestyle completely.

"In truth, he's just been looking for something. Some alternative. Something undefinable. Something worth keeping control for. I knew that, but I'm not sure even Edward did. Killing the pack was not that thing. He would have been so tortured with guilt that I think it _would_ have tipped him over the edge. So I persuaded him to come to Italy with me to find Peter and break the news to him. Time and distance tempered his thirst for Quileute blood, but he's still searching for that thing. I don't know exactly what, but I goddamn hope it comes along soon. Not sure how much more of his wallowing and self-loathing I can take."

I tried to see Edward in a different light. A tortured soul. It wasn't easy, though I could understand a little better why he hated me. Not only my relationship with Jacob but I was the very thing he was trying to avoid yet here I was, the forbidden fruit, being paraded in front of him.

I thought of how Jasper freely admitted that he had bitten and either changed or drained, probably hundreds of people during his vampire life. His time with Maria had been feral and vicious. He had apparently been one bad-ass vampire, fighting and killing without a second thought. My eyes fell to the scars scattered across his arms, which were at that moment wrapped around my waist. I lifted a hand, index finger extended but it hovered an inch or two above his skin.

"You can touch them."

Slower than I ever thought I could move, my finger came to rest on cold, solid skin. Kind of like marble, but I had only ever felt polished marble and the raised scars gave a very different texture to that. I ran my finger up and down his forearm, feeling what seemed like hundreds of welts.

"Bite marks. From newborns."

My hand stopped as I inhaled sharply and turned to look at him but before I could say anything he suddenly drew back and turned towards the house.

"Alice, what's going on?" his voice was strained, his eyes darting around the forest surrounding us.

If there was a reply I didn't hear it but a split second later Jasper had moved me down from the rock, pushing me behind him again, and faced the stream, still searching for something. I followed his eyes but could see nothing.

"He's close. Get Isabella."

Out of nowhere Alice and Rosalie appeared, flanking me. Alice put a hand on my right shoulder, Rosalie stood a little further away on my left. Alice pulled me back away from Jasper who was now crouched into what could only be described as an attack position. Edward and Emmett came to a halt just behind him, holding the same position.

"Jas, stop fucking with me. I should want to fucking kill him right now." It was Edward who spoke.

"No! Not now. Alice, you need to stay with Isabella. I can't deal with our visitor and Edward, and keep tabs on her state of mind. Edward, can you hear him?"

"Yes. He wants her." It was obvious by the way he spat out 'her' that he meant me.

"What? Who? Jasper, who wants me?" I was straining to reach Jasper but Alice's hand kept me firmly in place.

"Bella, you need to stay here with me. Jas, should I take her back to the house?"

"No! You will not take me back to the house! Jasper!"

"She stays, Alice. He knows she's here and _he_ has chosen to come here like this. He knows this will expose them but he has made that choice."

"Who, Jasper? What's going on?" the panic was clear in my voice. Jasper didn't acknowledged me though as just at that moment a huge, russet wolf leapt out of the forest, crossing the stream in another single bound and coming to stop in front of Jasper, it's jaws snarling and snapping.

Edward spoke, "He says he wants Bella. That she's not one of us and never will be."

"She's not one of you either." The wolf's head snapped to Emmett, teeth bared, growling.

Edward looked at the beast in disgust, then turned his head towards Jasper and Emmett. "I'll paraphrase. She belongs with him, they need to protect her, we can't keep her here, he'll kill us all to get her, usual, self-righteous tribal drivel. Can't say I disagree with him though. Apart from the bit about killing us all. Though I'd like to see him try."

He turned back to the wolf so I couldn't see his face, but the bitterness in his voice was clear, "And what about Charlotte, mutt? Who protected her? Seems like you're the ones doing all the killing around here."

At that the wolf backed off, lowering his head slightly and closing his eyes. In a human the gesture would have looked almost contrite.

In the silence that followed, my brain just about caught up with what I was witnessing. "Hang on. He can _talk_ to animals. What is he, Dr Fucking Doolittle? And what the hell kind of animal is that anyway?"

Perhaps surprisingly, I wasn't particularly afraid. Whether that was because I was confident in Jasper and the Cullens' ability to protect me or that I didn't perceive any threat directed towards me specifically from the creature, I wasn't entirely sure. Probably both. That said, there was no way in hell I was going anywhere with it, and I prayed to every deity known to man that they wouldn't throw me to the wolf, quite literally.

"Why does it want me, anyway?"

"Go on. Why don't you tell her?" It was Emmett, almost taunting the animal which maintained its position but opened its eyes looking straight at me.

"Just give me one reason, wolf. Hell, I don't even like the girl but you even _think_ about running with her and I promise, this time, I'll hunt down you and your little band of mongrels." Edward's voice was lower, more threatening than Emmett.

"Edward! Is that what he's thinking?" Jasper spoke for the first time. He hadn't moved other than to track the wolf's attention which at that moment focussed entirely on Jasper again.

"He considered it briefly. But he knows he can't get through all of us."

"Is he alone?"

"Yes."

The wolf lurched towards Jasper, roaring, biting. Jasper didn't flinch.

"Emmett's right. She's not one of your people, you made that quite clear. Isabella is here of her own free will." Jasper faced off against the snarling animal which was getting more aggressive as he spoke.

"He doesn't believe you. Doesn't believe that she has had, full disclosure, so to speak."

"Ah, you see, wolf-boy. Isabella is capable of trust, belief and acceptance far beyond what you ever allowed. She knows and she still chooses to be here. With me."

At that, the wolf dropped down, whimpering, shaking as if in pain. I was transfixed by how human-like it appeared in its mannerisms. None of the Cullens moved as the wolf laid its head on the grass and howled. I tried to shake off Alice but she held me firm, so I addressed Edward instead.

"Edward, what's wrong with it. Ask it."

Edward just gave me a withering look. "Ask him your damn self."

At the sound of my voice, the wolf looked at me again. It's dark eyes looked strangely familiar as they pleaded silently with me. Alice loosened her grip as I took a step towards it, but Jasper's voice cut through the silence, striking me immobile, even though he didn't speak to me but to the wolf again.

"Jacob, you want to talk to her, fine. If she wants to talk to you, I'll bring her to the treaty line tomorrow."

I barely heard anything after "Jacob ...". Suddenly it all fit together, the old legends of Quileutes wolf ancestors, the Cold Ones, vampire-hunters. And the dark eyes of the wolf. Eyes I had looked into before. If vampires existed, it wasn't inconceivable that werewolves did too.

I couldn't look any more. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. Someone far away shouted "And bring Leah!" Someone else shouted "Jas! Bella needs you." Cold. Wind. Speed.

~~~ / ~~~

I came round in a bedroom. Seeing the seven people all watching me, I immediately wished I was out cold again.

"Everybody out. She should be fine now. Bella, you fainted, due to the recent stress you've been under. You'll be fine but you need to rest." Carlisle's voice was soothing, reassuring. I tried to sit up but was firmly pushed back down. "Just stay where you are for a while. Jasper will take care of you and if you need me, just call." I didn't hear any footsteps but did hear the click of a door. Turning my head to look for Jasper, I saw him sitting at the side of the bed, my hand clasped in both his, his forehead dropped onto his hands.

"Jasper. I need to know. Was that, out there, was it really Jake?"

"Yes. You shouldn't have had to find out like this. Carlisle was quite clear it wasn't our place to tell you. I respect Carlisle but I'd happily overrule him if I thought it was in your best interests, but how the hell could I tell you? Your ex-fiance is a shapeshifting wolf who somehow managed to hide it from you for seven years. Hell, I couldn't keep what I was from you for seven days! I didn't _want_ to keep it from you."

"What Edward said out there. Was Jake there when Charlotte was killed?"

"Yes. He was the one who took her down and as far as we can tell, did the most damage."

"Oh, shit, Jasper." How could he bear to even be near me. Every time he looked at me, he must be reminded of Jake and what he did. I couldn't even begin to fathom how Jake hadn't told me this. He didn't trust me with tribe secrets, thought I couldn't handle it, was afraid I'd tell people. Had I meant so little to him? Clearly I had since he hadn't given me so much as a fleeting thought before setting up happy families with _her_. Did she know? Did he trust her? And God, how stupid must I be to not have realised I was living with a fucking werewolf.

"Isabella. Isabella, look at me."

Jasper had shifted to lie beside me on what I assumed to be his bed. For someone who didn't sleep it was huge. All wrought iron and crisp linens. I rolled over to face him and as our eyes locked, he looked at me in a way he hadn't since Jess' party. I could feel him trying to reach into the muddy pool of feelings swimming around inside me. Just like I had at the party, I mentally locked away all the guilt and sadness. I figured he didn't need to sense that on top of the revulsion he must feel about me and my connection with Jake. I had after all lived with – slept with – someone who hunted down him and his kind, killed them, _had_ killed one of his best friends. How could he bear to see past that?

He frowned for a second, "How do you do that? I've never met anyone who can shut me out like that."

"You know I'm doing that? I ... I'm not sure."

"Open up to me. I can help you get through this."

"You want to help me, kiss me."

His eyes widened, and his lips parted. "Kiss you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Please stop asking me that."

I bit my bottom lip as he swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing up and down just once. And then slowly , we closed the space between us. And his hands were in my hair and mine were in his, caressing and pulling as lips came together in a frenzy. I could feel the desire and want pouring out of him into me, and replaced it with everything my body felt. He was holding me against him and his grip tightened. I dropped an arm to his waist and tugged his hips towards mine, sliding my leg over his.

He slowed the pace of our kiss, releasing his grip on me. I clamoured to keep our bodies together, tilting my hips to meet his, grasping his hair tighter.

"Isabella." He breathed my name.

"Jasper, I need this. I need you. Nothing I knew is real anymore. Nothing is what I thought it was. Except this. You and me."

He groaned.

"Don't you dare ask me if I'm sure."

A small smile played on his mouth and he slipped his arms around my waist, flipping me over onto my back. Our lips came together again but this time his hand traced down my neck, over my breast to the bottom button of my shirt. I felt my way down his back, pulling his shirt up, then raking my nails up his back. He resisted when I tried to pull his shirt over his head.

"Please Jasper. I need to feel you."

He sighed and sat up on his knees pulling it off himself. For a moment he just sat looking at me expectantly and it was only when I shifted my gaze to his chest I saw that his torso was littered with the same scars as his arms, albeit more sparsely. It was a stark reminder of how dangerous he was and I probably should have felt as afraid as he clearly expected me to be. I propped myself up on my elbows and leaned over to kiss a solitary crescent, barely touching it with my lips but daring to flick my tongue against it. Jasper hissed and grabbed me roughly, yanking off my now fully unbuttoned shirt and bra.

He clasped his hands round my ass, and in one smooth tug pulled me to the edge of the bed where he got rid of my jeans just as efficiently. Kneeling down on the edge of the bed, he slowly removed my panties, following them with a trail of kisses. He circled his fingers round each of my ankles, hooking my legs over his shoulders. I reached for him, to pull him up to me, but he ignored my attempts, leaving me twining my hands in his hair, heat building just from his breath on my exposed skin.

Leaning into me, he placed one hand flat on my stomach and reached up with the other to tease my nipple. Without warning he flicked his tongue against me, then inside me. Bucking and moaning against the cold heat, I clutched him tighter, willing him into me. He licked the length of me, finding my swollen clit, gently sucking and biting. I lifted one hand to cover his, which was continuing to caress and squeeze my tit, and moved it with his. He swapped so my own hand was covered by his, fingers intertwined and used my hand to tease and stroke my own breast. He moved my other hand from his hair and laid it on the inside of my leg. I gripped my thigh as his tongue continued to explore and tantalise.

This was real ... tangible. I could anchor myself to this.

He took the hand from my stomach, and slid first one finger, then two inside me, even as his tongue continued to stroke my clit. The rhythm of my breathing and heart-rate soared, erratic but his fingers stroked me steadily inside and out. I lifted a foot to rest on his shoulder to give me something to brace against. The next thrust came at a new angle and Jasper curled his fingers. My fingernails dug into the flesh of my thigh.

It wasn't enough. I stilled, wrapped my legs round his shoulders and gently tugged his hair until he looked up at me. Dark eyes, moist lips and tousled hair looked back at me.

"I need you. Inside me."

He stood and paused, readying himself to push inside. Sinking deep inside me in one move, I gave myself up entirely to the sensation of being filled, being physically connected to him. He lifted my knees up and drove deep into me again. I tried to grab onto the bed sheets, the edge of the bed, anything, but my hands clamoured for Jasper. It was him I needed to hold on to.

Wrapping my legs round his waist this time, I tried to pull him to me, kicking his back gently with my feet and holding my arms out to him. He paused briefly before lowering himself to me, giving my body the contact it was desperately yearning for. Joined from the hips to the chest, his skin against mine, plunging into me again and again. Our mouths met in series of tiny licks, kisses and nibbles. I tried to increase the pace, needing harder, faster but he kept it slow and sensual.

The waves of pleasure rolling through my body gradually intensified, our eyes met and I felt a surge of desire and lust spreading through my body. It was more than physical release, it was an emotional surge which seemed to flow right through Jasper and into me - body and mind.

Cocooned in Jasper's arms afterwards, I lay awake reflecting. I thought I had needed raw, hard, no holds barred sex – I had certainly imagined that plenty times over the last week or so. What Jasper gave me was something else. Something more secure and more loving. It was life-affirming. It was him.

* * *

**So, how'd you feel about a little Ed/Char outtake? Or a Jasper POV drabble? I've been thinking about it. Let me know what you'd like to see from Jasper - the party? The car breakdown scene? The cabin? If I ever get the story finished I might do a couple of short outtakes.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Anybody still out there? Apologies for the break- real life forced a hiatus on me. I'm going to try to get into a monthly update schedule (of course that would be easier if I wasn't about to go away on a three-week holiday - how inconvenient!). I'd offer Jasper in exchange for reviews, but I think I want to keep him for myself. **

**Leah fans - this is one for you.**

**Never/Team - you rock. Thanks for sticking with it.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. Or Jasper. Ms Meyer still holds that honour.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"You're really taking her down there? That's pretty reckless, even for you Jasper."

I ended my phone call with Jake to hear Edward berating Jasper in the next room. Apparently, he thought I was going to be in mortal danger just by being on the reservation. The most surprising thing to me was that he even cared. None of them would believe that Jake would never hurt me. I tried to remain calm, and explained one more time.

"Edward, Jake's not going to hurt me. I'm just going to talk to them. Maybe I can get them to listen to reason and agree to Carlisle's treaty."

He actually snorted at me, "If you think that _you_ – a single human female – can do that, then you're even more naive than I thought. And it's not just Jacob Black you have to worry about."

With that he flew out the door, leaving me alone with Jasper. I breathed a sigh of relief that he'd gone. Despite spending most of the day before and all night in the Cullen's house, I still wasn't entirely comfortable with them. They had been more than hospitable, giving me space and only being around us one or two at a time. I had spoken further with Carlisle this morning about the tribe though he'd given me little more information, insisting I hear it from them. I did now know there were a number of werewolves amongst them, that their shifting abilities became more pronounced when they perceived a threat from vampires and that they could learn to control these abilities in time, changing into their wolf form at will.

Oddly enough, Emmett was the other one I felt most at ease with. He had made me breakfast, having run out somewhere during the night to buy "supplies". And by supplies, he meant every conceivable breakfast dish known to man (or vampire). Cereal, muesli, muffins, waffles, eggs, orange juice, apple juice, coffee, tea. The previously pristine table looked like an atomic breakfast bomb had gone off.

"I didn't know what you liked so I just got some of everything. Damn, almost makes me want to be human again."

I felt extremely self-conscious being the only one eating this mountain of food, with Jasper watching my every move. However, there was something else I needed to do before meeting Jake, and even though I was apprehensive, I needed to do it without Jasper. Draining a glass of orange juice, I shifted nervously, moving to start clearing up the mess. I focussed all my attention on cleaning a plate, ignoring Emmett's protests.

"What is it?" Jasper appeared at me side, tipping my chin up with his finger, almost willing me to meet his eyes.

"Jake said to meet him at eleven - that you'd know where."

"I heard him. And I know where. But that's not what's making you all edgy."

I couldn't hide anything from him. There was no point in trying, really. "I'd like to speak to Alice before we go."

"Alice?" he looked half-worried, half-amused. "I thought you didn't like her."

"I wouldn't say I don't like her. I don't really know her. But ..."

"But what? Come on, Isabella. I won't bite." He smirked, "I could ... but I won't. Unless you want me to."

An involuntary (and I'm sure entirely inappropriate) thrill ran me at the thought of his mouth on me in any way, shocking me somewhat. Did I want him to bite me? It stopped me in my tracks as I considered the full realisation of what that could mean. Jasper nudged me lightly with his elbow.

"Isabella?"

"Oh ...oh, sorry. Spaced out for a minute there. "

"So... Alice?" he tilted his head in question.

I needed to speak to Alice alone. Maybe I could get her to explain some of this to me. Explain what I was supposed to do, what was supposed to happen. I sure as hell didn't have a clue what I would do or say when I met Jake. I was wary of her, but Jasper had already told me she'd been evasive with him, so maybe I could get some answers from her.

"Did someone mention my name?"

Her melodic voice filled the room as she wafted into the room. Jasper turned to shield me from her again, sensing my unease.

"Oh, Jas. Always the protector. " Alice twirled around him and pulled me gently from behind, locking my hand in hers. "Bella wants to talk to me alone. You know, about _girl stuff." _

I rolled my eyes at her exaggerated stage whisper. "No, Jasper, it's not like that."

"Come on, Bella. I know you're dying to ask me his favourite position."

The crimson heat flared in my face and neck. Jasper didn't miss a beat though.

"Alice, Edward would be pissed if he thought you were reading minds now as well."

"I don't need to read minds to see what's right in front of me."

"Jasper, it's fine. I don't mind talking to Alice alone." I quickly tacked onto the end, "Not about that though."

"You're sure? If you need me, anything, just yell. No, don't yell, you'll upset Rosalie. Just ... say my name." He trailed off to a whisper as he brushed my lips with his.

The strains of a deep booming voice singing Beyonce _"Say my name, say my name, say baby ..." _were followed by Emmett, gyrating his hips, singing into an invisible microphone. "You're such a fucking sap," he laughed before tackling Jasper to the ground, who quicker than I could see retaliated and flipped Emmett onto his back. As the wrestling continued, Alice steered me outside down to the same rock I had sat on with Jasper the day before.

"So." Alice jumped down from the rock to sit cross-legged on the grass in front of me.

I hesitated. Alice watched me. I fiddled with my ring that Charlie had given me for my eighteenth birthday. It had been his mother's ring, and then Renee's engagement ring. He wasn't sure I would want it, or wear it, but I hadn't taken it off since.

"I just ..." Sighing, I leaned back on the rock, tilting my head upwards to the seemingly permanent grey clouds. "What have you seen? I mean, about me. What happens to me?"

Alice's amber eyes twinkled as she held her hand out, palm up. "I think you're supposed to cross my palm with silver before I tell your fortune."

I tried to figure out whether she was joking or not as she sat there, hand outstretched until she scowled in the direction of the house. She spoke towards it, "Stop listening. Girl stuff, remember?

"So, Bella, you really want to know what I've seen?"

"Yes, I do."

"No you don't. You want me to tell you it's all sweetness and roses. That, with one word from you, the wolf-pack will see the light and sign the treaty, and you and Jas will ride off into the sunset on a white horse."

"Don't patronise me, Alice. For one, I don't know how the boys will react to me. I don't even know which of them are fucking wolves."

She chuckled, shaking her head "The boys? You really have no idea, Bella."

"No I don't. That's why I'm asking you – you're supposed to be this all-seeing oracle. Is this what I'm supposed to do? Go see them? "

"You've not asked the biggest question. What this is really all about?"

I hesitated – did I really want to know? I'd only consciously considered it myself a short time ago. "Have you seen me ... do I ... Will I become a vampire?" I could barely get it out, my throat was dry, constricting.

Alice grinned and sat up on her knees, taking my hand. "Now that wasn't so hard to ask, was it? I will tell you this Bella. As far as the wolves go, no, you're not the solution. But it's necessary that you go to see them. A catalyst to set the chain of events in motion if you will." And with that she leapt up and turned back to the house.

"That's it? That's what your omniscient gift is telling you?"

"Come on. Here comes your new boyfriend to take you to your date with your ex-boyfriend. How very civilised we all are." And with that she skipped back to the house as Jasper appeared seemingly from nowhere, taking my hand.

"Did you get your answers?"

"No." I was pouting. And sulking. And I knew it was childish.

"Told you. An evasive little bitch when she wants to be."

"But why? Surely forewarned is forearmed."

"Alice doesn't always see it like that. Now come on, we'd better head over to the treaty line."

"Jasper, are you sure you're ok with me going over there?"

"Would it make any difference if I wasn't?" he challenged.

"Maybe." I mused.

"OK. Maybe I don't like it. But it's necessary."

"But from what Alice said, I can't get them to sign the treaty."

"I don't give a shit about the treaty. It's necessary for you. You'll never be completely mine until you're free of Jake. And that won't happen until you've heard the whole truth. From him."

_Mine. _The flutter in my stomach came from realising it was the first time he had ever even hinted at any kind of future together. He wasn't pushing me away any more. The feeling didn't last long however. As we approached Jasper's car, I realised Edward was waiting beside another car – a silver Volvo, the most un-vampire-like car I could have ever imagined.

"Edward's coming?"

"Yes." Jasper didn't look at me as he spoke, the monosyllabic answer clearly indicating that it wasn't up for discussion.

"Why?" I stood holding onto the top of the door frame which he had, as usual, opened for me and ignored the pointed sighs and exaggerated watch-looking from Edward.

"Isabella, can't you just accept my judgement."

"No. Why Edward? If you feel you need someone, take Emmett. Or Alice."

"It was Alice's idea. He'll be in a separate car. They won't see him."

"Of course it was Alice's idea." I muttered under my breath, but on seeing the look Jasper gave me, realised I'd have been as well shouting it from the rooftops. I'd never get used to this super-sensitive hearing. "Does nobody ever question her? So why does he have to come?"

Sighing softly, he stroked the back of his finger across my cheek. The now-familiar chill of his touch simultaneously soothed my mind and ignited frozen flames deep inside me.

"Insurance." He said firmly.

~~0~~

Jasper stopped the car near a nondescript part of the dense forest, a little way off the highway. There was no sign of Edward – his silver car had been following us but had pulled off the road a few minutes earlier.

"So, do you want to walk, or run?"

"Run? Jasper, I can barely stay upright on flat ground never mind running through a forest."

"I didn't mean you to run. Hold on. " Before I could protest he swept me up, one arm wrapped round my back, one under my knees. I wrapped my arms round his neck, leaning my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. He ran. I had no idea how fast but the forest was a blur, the speed creating wind streaming past us. It was almost like flying, he seemed to skim across the ground. Trees whistled past just inches from us. Although it occurred briefly to me to me that we might hit one, being held by and holding onto Jasper was the safest place in the world. And the run was exhilarating.

He came to a halt after only a few minutes, and set me down carefully. I was grinning like an idiot. Jasper caught my laugh, and laughed right back at me, caught up in my exuberance. It was one of his rare, carefree moments, and I loved seeing his smile and hearing his easy laughter. I wished I could make him do it more often.

"Now what?" I asked once I had my breath back and composed myself. Jasper was lounging back casually against a nearby tree.

"We wait."

"How long?"

"Not long. Edward can hear them. They'll be here in a minute."

"Edward? Where is he? What's his… er ... range?" As I turned to look for Edward, Jasper pulled me close, enveloping me, crushing me against his chest and kissed me intensely. It took just a moment of me losing myself in him before I realised this wasn't a normal Jasper kiss. It was too spontaneous, too composed. Jasper was always controlled when he touched me, but always yielding, this seemed almost mechanical. As I drew back, his eyes were wide open even as his mouth remained on mine, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes – colder than I had ever seen before - were fixed on a spot over my left shoulder.

"Really? For fuck's sake Jasper, why not just tattoo your name across my forehead?" I pushed against his chest, twisting my head as far as I could when he didn't release me. Sure enough, coming out of trees was Jake.

"And ruin your beautiful face?"

"Not fucking funny. Now let me go."

"Not until you kiss me again."

Sighing, knowing he was absolutely serious, I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips lightly to his, hesitating just for a second before smiling at him, "Happy?"

"Mm." He didn't look too happy, and I knew he would have liked a little more enthusiasm in front of Jake, but he did release me and I turned to greet Jake and Leah.

Jake's fists were clenched, his back ramrod straight and shoulders lifted. As he looked at Jasper his eyes flashed dangerously. For the first time, I saw Jake and realised I wasn't in love with him anymore. I had somehow relegated our love and relationship to the past. When did that happen? I still loved him but in the same, almost platonic, way that I loved Charlie or Renee.

But as soon as his gaze met mine, he seemed to fold in on himself, his back and shoulders drooping, looking like a crushed man. Looking somewhat like Jasper had looked back in the lakehouse when I was about to leave. But Jake wasn't mine to leave anymore. I couldn't think of anything to say to him. This man who I had loved for years. And as we watched each other across the small stretch of forest floor between us, he seemed to dissolve even further. Tears shone in his eyes as he stopped walking towards me and dropped to the ground on his knees.

"Bells. Please. Come back with me. You can't honestly want this. Please. It's too dangerous. You don't really know them." He pleaded.

I could barely look at him. This wasn't the strong, proud, fearless Jake I had known and loved. This desperation was unlike anything I'd seen in him before. I took a few hesitant steps towards him, unsure if I should offer him some comfort. Leah stepped forward clearly as uncomfortable as I felt, looking at me, then looking at Jake. She grabbed his shoulder, shaking him.

"Jake? Jake, what's going on?"

He threw her hand off his shoulder, rising up to his full height, which was not insignificant. Towering above me, hostility and anger radiated from him. His every muscle was tensed and I instinctively stepped back towards Jasper, my hand outstretched behind me seeking him out. Seeking the protection and reassurance I knew he could give. With a low, almost inaudible chuckle, he grabbed my hand and rubbed circles between my thumb and forefinger.

"Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Her." Jake growled. "Bells, you need to come with me. Now." Every syllable was spoken through clenched teeth.

I had never been afraid of Jake before now. Any wrong movement or word on my part could make him snap and there was no way in hell I was letting him at Jasper, who, from what I could gather from his easy posture against my back, was perfectly calm. I looked to Leah for help. She was looking from Jake to Jasper and back again, apparently as confused as I was.

Jasper was the one to break the silence and as he spoke softly to me, Jake seemed to "stand down", although he was clearly still on edge.

"Isabella, call me when you're ready to come home." He brushed his lips against the top of my head and steered me lightly towards Jake. "And Black, if you hurt her again, I will kill you."

Jake glowered, but before he could get a chance to reply Leah stepped in, "Oh, if he hurts her, I'll hold his furry ass down for you."

I couldn't help but giggle at the idea of Leah holding down the man-mountain that was Jacob Black. Jasper stepped away from the tree, holding his hand out to Leah. "Leah Clearwater. Nice to formally meet you at last. Jasper Hale."

As she reluctantly reached out, he raised her hand and chastely kissed the back of it. I rolled my eyes at his full-on Southern charm, knowing there was no way Leah was falling for that. He'd have to do better than that to impress the bitch. Surprisingly, she giggled like a schoolgirl, before turning away and reverting to her standard scowl, eyeing Jasper even more suspiciously than before.

Jake had already started walking back towards the tree line, and Leah signalled for us to follow him. As we walked I looked over my shoulder to give a hopefully reassuring smile to Jasper who was leaning against the tree again, watching Jake walk away.

"At least there'll be someone there on my side." He shouted, nodding at Leah.

Leah abruptly stopped, looking briefly at me. "Leah, don't ..."

But she had already turned on her heel and was giving Jasper her full on bitch-face, "Hey, Lestat! I'm looking out for Bella here, not you! Just as I'd kick Jake's furry ass for hurting her, if you so much as look at her wrong, I'll rip your fucking limbs from your fossilized torso and do a highland fucking jig on your funeral pyre!"

Oh, shit! I didn't have to look at Jasper to see his reaction. I could feel his eyes on Leah as I grabbed her arm trying to pull her away, knowing he would be furious. Leah couldn't know just how dangerous it was to rile Jasper. Jake had stopped walking. I figured he was waiting for Jasper to attack Leah, giving him a reason to retaliate.

"Jasper, she doesn't mean it. She's just being protective. You said so yourself."

"I do fucking mean it, Bella."

"Leah, stop. You have no idea ..."

Then Jasper laughed. A proper laugh, like before.

"You were right to trust her Isabella. You'll be fine. Call me. I like you, Leah."

All I could do was gawp, mouth agape as he waved and disappeared into the forest, leaving me with Jake and Leah.

Jake led the way through the trees, at Leah's insistence, with she and I walking a little behind, all of us in silence. Jake and Leah were still tense. Something dawned on me after a few minutes of silence, and I stopped abruptly.

"Did you just call him "Lestat"? Shit, Leah! _You_ know?"


End file.
